


Turn the Lights Off, Carry Me Home

by AnoMolly



Category: Pitch Perfect (Movies)
Genre: CMH, Carry Me Home, F/M, Pitch Perfect - Freeform, TTLOCMH, jeca - Freeform, turn the lights off carry me home
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-12
Updated: 2016-07-21
Packaged: 2018-07-23 15:55:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 35,970
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7469784
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnoMolly/pseuds/AnoMolly
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Beca Mitchell gave up her dreams of being a famous when her family needed her most. It wasn't so bad, living in Clear Valley, Oklahoma, despite being the epitome of "Small Town". Her friends were all here, and her brother needed her. And the band she was in was starting to get some notoriety in other small towns. But when the boy who broke her heart into a thousand tiny pieces decides to return, Beca finds her world, the one she had given up her dreams for, turned upside down. If given another chance at escape and fame, would she take it?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. epilogue

**Author's Note:**

> If this fic seems familiar to you, fear not, I am merely uploading it from my FF account.

Beca threw the front door to her apartment open, not bothering to grimace at the sound of it bouncing off the wall and then slamming shut behind her. The steady stream of curses issuing from her pale pink lips was both emphatic and colorful. She dropped her satchel from her shoulder, not caring that half the contents spilled out onto the cheap linoleum flooring in her foyer. She stomped through the short foyer and into her small living room where she gingerly set the hard case containing her guitar on her coffee table before turning and marching straight into her kitchen.

She walked to the cupboard next to the fridge, opening it and pulling out the large tub of Nutella, then she turned and stepped over to the drawer containing her silverware, yanking it open and grabbing a spoon. Spinning on her heal, she walked out of the kitchen, leaving both the drawer and the cupboard open, and flung herself down onto the dilapidated blue love seat.

"Un-fucking-believable," she growled, spinning the top of the jar of hazelnut spread to open it. "Of course, of all the people my brother could bring in to audition, of all the FUCKING people in this stupid FUCKING town, my FUCKING brother had to run into that..." Beca's brain stalled, trying to think of the best insult. "That...DickBag." She jabbed her spoon into the jar and scooped out a heaping spoonful before bringing it to her lips, hoping the sweet taste would help quell the anger and...the other feelings swirling through her. Wasn't it enough that he had ruined her life seven years ago? Hadn't he done enough, left enough damage behind him, besides Beca's broken heart, when he moved away and forgot about everyone he claimed he loved so much? Now he had come waltzing back into town and expected to be integrated back into their lives again? Like nothing ever fucking happened? "Stupid fucking Jesse Swanson...why the fuck did you have to come back into town?"


	2. Chapter 2

"I think it's a great idea," Steve said, finally, leaning back in his brown leather desk chair. He exhaled slowly, pushing his wire-rimmed glasses up to the top of his head to scrub a hand over his tired face.

"You do?" At his hopeful and surprised tone, Steve replaced his glasses and looked across the desk at his client.

"Jesse," he began slowly. "I'm not gonna lie...your last two films have been pretty big flops." Jesse could feel the hope that had begun to blossom in his chest deflate. 'Flop' was putting it mildly. His last movie hadn't even pulled in enough at the box office to break even with amount of money they had spent making it. "Not to mention, the...'altercation'-" Steve punctuated the word with finger quotes- "with Mr. Renner may have guaranteed your never working with him again."

"That was totally on him! It's not my fault the guy can't fucking handle it if some one add-libs a line or two!" Jesse cried out in exasperation. "I mean, really! Who gets that fuckin upset when you change the wording of one damn line?" Jesse watched Steve sigh and shake his head.

"It's not just what happened with Renner. Your behavior as of late in the tabloids is also hurting your image. You can't drunkenly berate a cop for giving you a ticket for speeding more than twenty over the limit and shout 'Don't you know who I am?'. You're lucky he didn't haul your ass to jail. And arguing with your Ex in the middle of a club? What are you, seventeen?"

"You're not my fucking father, Steve," Jesse growled. Steve looked at him with a mixture of annoyance and pity.

"I understand that you're going through a rough time, Jesse," he said placatingly. "But, in this world, that can lead to losing your career. People don't wanna work with a prima donna. You've been my client for a long time, ever since you were nineteen. And when you have your shit together, you're an incredible actor. I've seen you bring an entire audience to tears. But lately, your head hasn't been in the right place. And it's starting to show in your work."

Jesse stared hard at the grooves in Steve's oak desk, his arms crossed over his chest as he slumped in the chair. What Steve was saying was the truth. Jesse hadn't felt...right in a long time. It still fucking sucked to hear it.

"That being said," Steve continued, drawing Jesse's reluctant attention away from his desk top. "I think that you taking time to direct a film is a good idea. I like the script, and I like that you chose something that hits so close to your background. So...give me a couple weeks to make some calls and see if I can find some people who want to be a part of this. We can work out the details then, ok?" Jesse stared at him, finally feeling some excitement. "Have you thought about where you wanna film this? It's a little big for just a studio shoot but I'm sure we can work something-"

"Actually," Jesse interrupted, sitting up straight in the chair. He leaned forward and placed his palms on the desk. "I was thinking about..." Jesse inhaled slowly, "maybe filming it back home...in Clear Valley."

"You wanna go all the way to Oklahoma to film it? In a tiny, one post office town? The one you swore you would never return to?" Steve asked in disbelief. "Son, have you lost your damn mind?" Jesse smiled, looking down at his hands.

"Yeah," he said softly. "I'm pretty sure I've been losing it for a while now, though."  
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________  
Beca slammed the back hatch of her red '96 jeep Cherokee shut, hefting the heavy bag of laundry up higher onto her shoulder. She hazarded a quick look around because if she was caught doing her own laundry while she was working, especially at a client's house while on a job, she would get in big trouble. Again. Casting her indigo eyes to the windows of the sleepy houses on the street, she was satisfied that there was no one interested in what Rebeca Lee Mitchell was doing with a large bag of laundry as she walked up to the old Swanson house.

She pulled the ring of client keys out of the pocket of her cut off jean shorts and skipped quickly up the paving stone walkway to the front door. Manipulating the correct key into her nimble fingers, Beca unlocked the deadbolt with practiced precision and pushed the heavy green door open so she could step over the threshold. As soon as she was inside, Beca let the bag fall to the floor as she turned back around to run back out to her car. She opened the back passenger side door, reaching down to the basket of cleaning supplies and grasping it with both hands. She straightened her lithe body, stepping back and shutting the door with her hip, and headed back into the house, closing the door behind her.

She puffed an errant piece of chestnut colored hair out of her hair as she walked through the front hall into the big open foyer-"The foy-yay," she remembered the stuffy Mrs Swanson saying, always correcting her son when he would say the word-and set her basket of cleaning supplies on the table with an old porcelain vase filled with forever flowering fake blooms of blue and yellow. Beca looked around, pushing all of the flooding memories back to the back of her mind-where they fucking belonged. She took a deep breath, sorting her thoughts.

"Alrighty," she said aloud to the dust motes wafting through the air. It didn't matter that Beca cleaned this house every Thursday, it was a never ending battle with the dust. Since there was no one living with in the house, there was absolutely no one to keep dust from settling throughout the house. "First, load the laundry and then, since I cleaned the upstairs last week, I'll start in the kitchen and work my way to the front of the house." It was a pretty typical game plan, especially for the houses that required so much cleaning. Most of Beca's clients really only wanted her to clean a few rooms, like the kitchen, the bathrooms, and the living rooms-and Beca was fine with that because people tended to get weird in their bedrooms, while living rooms and kitchens were kept mundane so the neighbors wouldn't talk. There were only a few clients that asked Beca to clean their entire home. Two, to be exact. One being the home of her arch nemesis-Ava-whom, Beca was pretty certain, really only wanted to flaunt in front of Beca how much she had, being a rich and beautiful divorcee in her big, beautiful home with a big, beautiful pool in the back yard. Bitch. And the other house was the very house that she stood in, The Swanson house.

Mrs Swanson, and her husband-before he passed away-had lived in this big, white plantation style two story house with its wrap around porch and picture windows on both floors, more than half of which Beca had seen shattered before her very eyes by her big brother, Jared, and Mrs Swanson's own son, Jesse.

Beca shook her head violently. She shoved those sneaky memories about broken windows and a boy with soft brown eyes and crooked smile out of her mind. They were innocent memories, ones that brought tender smiles to Beca's face. But those tender memories always lead to other memories, some not so tender, and definitely not innocent which always left Beca thirsty for whiskey-which always ended with Benji and Chloe having to do damage control. Nope, she told herself. Not today. It's been exactly 416 days since the last Whiskey incident.

Beca shouldered the large bag of laundry once more and made her way to the back of the house where the laundry room was. Even if she hadn't spent her childhood playing in this house, she would know it inside and out, having been tasked with cleaning it every week for the past three years. Mrs Swanson had never sold the house, even though she had packed Jesse up just after his high school graduation to move out to California, saying that even though she hated absolutely everything about living in a small town in Oklahoma she still held sentimentality for the house her husband had bought and they had raised their only son in. So she had kept the house, leaving it empty, but hiring the maid service that Beca worked for to keep it clean and looking nice. The electricity was left on and the house was still mostly furnished, though everything worth anything had been packed up and shipped to California.

There were only two rooms in the house that were completely empty. One was Mr Swanson's-Bob-study, Mrs Swanson couldn't bear to be parted from her husband's belongings after his passing. The other was Jesse's room, because unlike his mother, Jesse didn't believe in just buying all new things and starting over completely. He had taken everything in his room with him because everything had meant something to him and he didn't want to leave it behind to be forgotten about. Fucking liar, Beca growled in her mind. Shit. I need to stop before those 416 days all go to waste.

Beca tossed half of the bags contents into the large front loading washer, not bothering to sort them, tossing in some detergent, and starting a cycle. Then she turned on her heals to get her cleaning supplies and bringing them into the kitchen. Beca reached into her back pocket to pull her earbuds out, still connected to her phone, tucking them into her ears and pressing play. Soon, all she was thinking about was the music playing through her phone and how the purple rubber gloves made her palms sweat and how, even after three years, the smell of Comet made her sneeze uncontrollably for the first five minutes of every job. Beca never even heard the front door open, nor the heavy footsteps of the person walking through the foyer and down the hall. She didn't feel the eyes watching her as she sang along to Incubus' Megalomaniac while she scrubbed the counters.

She did, however, hear when someone cleared their throat, just a few feet behind her. Beca screamed, whirling around, holding her sponge out in front of her as her only defense. As Beca's Navy gaze focused on the stranger, she felt her heart stop still in her chest. She dropped her sponge, her hand unable to hold it's grip.

"You?" she gasped.


	3. Chapter 3

Clear Valley, Oklahoma was a very... Sleepy little town, Jesse decided. Oh sure, the town had almost doubled in size since last he had been to visit, and it looked as though the high school had gotten a pretty big face lift, and there were now *two* post offices-take that, Steve-, but Jesse was one of maybe six cars, total, on the road at 2:30 pm that Thursday. Everyone was either at work or inside, out of the humidity. And, Goddamn, was it humid.

April was normally a humid month for Oklahoma, Jesse recalled, but that day was one of those days that left you feeling slightly sticky after only a few minutes in your car. He checked his dashboard to see the temperature indicator. Only 73, he thought. But the moisture made it feel hotter, like the air was a tangible thing that clung to your skin and-he tsked in dismay as he checked his reflection in his rear view mirror-made hair that was even slightly wavy begin to frizz. Memories of teasing laughter about his dark curls as a child floated through his mind…

As he turned off of the main road and into a familiar housing edition, he let his eyes pass over the houses. There were some that had obviously been built recently, being made of brick instead of wooden siding. But mostly, it was the same homes that he remembered riding his bike past on his way to the other side of town, where the not so affluent lived.

His mother had hated it, always telling him he should stay close and play with some of the kids in his neighborhood. Every once in a while he would do as his mother asked, but easily grew bored playing with kids who were more concerned with playing with things instead of running around outside and playing with people. Besides, his best friend, Bumper, had lived on that side of town and neither of them had had any shortage of finding things to do, despite being on the wrong side of the tracks.

He inhaled slowly when the house, his house came into view. The white siding had greyed some over the years and the green trim had faded, but it still looked the same. There were still lace curtains hanging across the windows downstairs, the trellis still had Japanese Honeysuckle vines creeping along the west side of the house-though it was a bit over grown now-and the old Rooster weathervane still sat atop the highest peak of the roof. As he pulled up and parked behind some one's jeep-I guess people figure that it's not rude to park their car directly in front of an uninhabited house-Jesse was flooded with memories of wrestling with Bumper, whose real name was Jared but every one called Bumper-a nickname given by his little sister who pronounced 'brother' as 'bumper' as a toddler and the name stuck-in the front yard, helping his dad was the cars on Sundays, running out the door with toast in his mouth so he wouldn't miss the bus, sneaking out of his bedroom window and climbing down the trellis to go to parties...

"Jesus..." He sighed, putting his BMW into park and shutting off the engine. He scrubbed a hand over his face, reigning in his scattered thoughts. "Well, might as well start by getting my shit into the house." With those words, Jesse opened his door, pressing the button to pop his trunk, and stepped out of his Gran Turismo. He clicked the button on his key to lock the doors as he walked to the open trunk before dropping the keys into the pocket of his dark jeans. Then he lifted the door of his trunk and grasped the handles of both of his suit cases, lifting them and, setting the one in his left hand down momentarily to close the trunk, turned and walked up the slope to the front door of his childhood home.

As he crested the front porch, Jesse set both suitcases down. As he moved to retrieve his keys from his pocket, Jesse noticed that the door was not quite shut all the way. Glancing back to the jeep parked in front of his car, Jesse put the keys back into his pocket and stepped over to the window to the left of the door, peering through the lace curtain to see inside the house. The window gave him a full view of the front sitting room-his mother's preferred place to entertain company-but Jesse couldn't see anything beyond the room. He stepped back to the door, pushing it open silently. He strained his ears to listen for any sounds of life. He could hear singing-a woman's voice, coming from the kitchen.

"What the fuck?" He whispered to himself. "Who the hell is in my house?"

He marched purposefully toward the kitchen and the singing intruder. He paused for a second just around the corner of the doorway, bracing himself for what ever was about to happen. He took a breath and stepped through the doorway.

The woman was petite, with long brown hair tied back in a ponytail. Her back was to him as she sang, dancing slightly to the music coming through the purple earbuds in her ears. She wore short, jean cut off shorts and a white tank top, her black bra clearly visible beneath. She was slender, but still shapely, her hips belling out enticingly from her waist. She wore black flip flops on her feet as she scrubbed the marble countertop next to the farmhouse sink. As she turned slightly, Jesse caught sight of the side of her face and instantly recognized her.

Beca, he realized. Beca Mitchell, Bumper's kid sister. As much as Bumper had been a part of Jesse's childhood, so had Beca. She was always following them on their adventures, begging to have a turn with their toys, insisting that she was big enough to go with them when ever they left the front yard. Beca's laughter was part of the soundtrack to his adolescence. He remembered helping Bumper teach her how to ride her bike without training wheels when she was six and he and Bumper were eight. He remembered giving her a piggyback ride from the park when she was thirteen and she had fallen off of his skateboard and twisted her ankle so badly she couldn't walk. He remembered calming Bumper down the first time Beca had snuck out to go to a party that both he and Bumper were at when she was fifteen and they were seventeen. And he remembered the night, three weeks before he moved away, kissing her softly on his bed, in secret, and murmuring in her ear to distract her from the pain of losing her virginity, while their classmates partied down stairs.

The last thought left him feeling as though the temperature was rising sharply. He scratched at the back if his head distractedly as he watched her clean, completely oblivious to his presence. He chuckled to himself. Beca always had a way of losing herself in anything if she had the right music playing. He stepped forward, bringing himself right behind her and cleared his throat loudly. He nearly laughed at her screech. She spun around, brandishing her wet sponge like a weapon. His smile waned slightly when he saw her fright turn to shock and then anger.

"You?"  
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________  
Beca had always wondered how she would feel if she ever came face with Jesse Swanson again. Would she feel some of the feelings she'd had when they were young? Would she feel the shame she had wrestled with after the mess he had left her with? Would she be happy to see him just one last time?

Wrong on all accounts. Beca was pissed. More than pissed, she was livid.

There Jesse stood, in his dark denim jeans, that hugged his thighs in all the right places, and a mint green t-shirt with sleeves that pulled tightly over the muscles of his arms-

That's enough, stop right there, Beca Lee, she told herself. She reached up with her-still rubber gloved-hand and pulled her earbuds out of her ears, never taking her eyes off of the man before her.

"What are you doing here?" She demanded. Jesse's eyes widened slightly in surprise.

"I...live here," he said slowly, the way he used to when he was trying not to make her angry. She grit her teeth at his response.

"The fuck you do," she shot back.

"Pretty sure it's my name on the mortgage."

"Pretty sure it's your mom's name on the mortgage. Not yours."

"Well, since she passed eight months ago, everything of hers kinda got willed to me so..." Well...great. Way to be a bitch...you should really get that Foot-In-Mouth disease looked at, she grumbled.

"Jesus...I didn't...I'm sorry," Beca found herself stammering, her hackles lowering. "How did she-"

"Apparently, a bottle of gin and two packs of cigarettes a day is bad for you," Jesse said, sounding subdued, as well.

"Who woulda guessed?" She joked lamely. An uncomfortable silence settled over them and Beca felt her self shifting her weight from foot to foot-a nervous habit she'd had since childhood. Jesse cleared his throat.

"So...What are you doing in my house?" Jesse asked, changing the subject. Beca looked down at the rubber gloves she wore and the soapy sponge on the floor, before glancing back up at him.

"Cleaning, what does it look like I'm doing?" Beca watched as he rolled his eyes.

"Yes, but...why?"

"Because your mom pays my employer, who pays me, to come and clean your house every Thursday."

"You're a maid?" Jesse laughed. Beca narrowed her eyes, dangerously close to losing her job due to committing physical violence against one of her clients. She couldn't help it, though. Those were the exact words crowed in cruel exultation by her arch nemesis when Ava had found out. Days later, Beca had found herself given Ava's home in her rotation-a special request by Ava, herself.

"I'm not a fucking maid," Beca said evenly. Jesse's smile slid quickly off his face.

"I mean…You, uh… work for a maid service?" he amended. "Shouldn't you wear, I dunno, some kind of uniform?" Well, actually…

"That depends," Beca said slowly.

"On what?"

"On whether or not you tell on me for not wearing it."

"Same old Beca. Still trying to Damn the Man and fight the establishment," Jesse chuckled. "So, what is your uniform?"

"Fugly khakis and a green Polo," Beca muttered. Jesse laughed, really laughed, throwing his head back as he did so, and Beca couldn't help staring at him, remembering watching him laugh when they were kids.

"Well, then, your secret is safe with me. I'd much rather watch you clean my house in those awesome cut offs and the tank top that you're wearing. Nice bra, by the way." Beca felt her face flame and knew that her cheeks were beet-red. She watched him bite his bottom lip and had to force herself to look away, using the excuse of picking up her sponge as an excuse to do so.

"Looks like I'll be donning khakis and Polos from now on," she growled.


	4. Chapter 4

"So...Does Jared know you're here?" Beca asked as she returned to scrubbing the counter. She looked over her shoulder at Jesse, waiting for his reply.

"No. I seriously just got into town. No one knows I'm here. Except you." Beca scoffed.

"How long you been in town?"

"Twenty minutes."

"And you drove? You didn't just magically appear inside this house?"

"Yes," he said slowly.

"Trust me, everyone in town knows you're here." When Jesse raised his eyebrows, Beca shook her head. "Guess you've been gone so long that you forgot what it's like living in a small town. There are no secrets here, Jay." Beca snapped her mouth shut when the nickname fell from her lips. She willed her face to stay blush free. She watched Jesse's gaze darken a bit.

"We both know there are still some secrets. You and I managed to keep at least one." Beca felt her heart slam in her chest as memories, ones she had long ago sworn to never think of, suddenly flashed in her mind. Jesse's mouth on hers, her fingers curling in his hair, the weight on him on top of her, the feeling of him filling her, pressing her into the mattress with every thrust. The despair when-

Beca turned away from him, shaking her head to clear the images, the emotions, from her mind.

"That was a long time ago," she muttered.

"Yeah," he agreed. She refused to look back at him. Seconds later she heard his footsteps retreating and she sighed in relief.

Jesse made himself walk away from her. He knew that it wouldn't be easy, if even possible. What he had done to Beca was deplorable. She had every right to be mad. Hell, if Bumper knew what he had done...

Jesse didn't want to imagine what Bumper would have done to him if he had ever found out that he had deflowered his little sister. Much less that Jesse had done it the day he had broken up with Ava...and then gotten back with Ava the day after. It wasn't his proudest moment. He sighed again, scratching at the back of his head as he returned to where he had left his suitcases.

"May as well start settling in," he muttered. He grasped both handles of the grey canvas bags and lifted them, turning towards the stair case and beginning his ascent to the second floor. He smiled slightly when the eighth step creaked-it always had when he was a kid. Finally cresting the top of the stairs he turned to the right, heading for his parents' bedroom.

It was strange to be walking this hallway again, Jesse realized. Strange to be an adult in the house he only thought about in reference to his childhood. And, to be honest, he never thought he would step foot inside it again. Lord knows, his mother never had any inclination to return to the house. "Too many memories," she had said, and Jesse finally understood what she had meant. He felt almost overwhelmed. He shook his head.

"Just get through the next six months," he muttered. He should be done with filming by then, at the very latest. And then he could go back to LA and his normal life. "I just have to make nice 'til then."

Jesse stepped through the doorway of the master bedroom and set down his bags. "What the fuck," he groaned, taking in the floral monstrosity of a duvet that draped over his parents' old king sized bed, with matching shams on the pillows and matching curtains and valances. Everything about the master bedroom was mauve and plum and floral and-

"I feel like an old woman just vomited all the worst decorative styles of the 90s in here," Jesse groaned. This...would need to be fixed. There was no way he could take six months of this. Any woman he brought home would run away laughing as soon as she saw it. He scrubbed his hands over his face.

"I need a fucking shower," he sighed, crossing to the door to the en suite master bathroom, looking forward to washing the stress of the 20+ hours he'd spent driving the last two days. His hopes were dashed, however, as soon as he pulled open the door to the bathroom. "What. The. Fuck."

Every wall was covered in egg crate foam, including the large mirror over the double sink vanity and inside the shower stall. There cables running from a desk top computer set up on the vanity, and several amps set up around the bathroom, and a bunch of microphone stands over in the corner.

Jesse turned around and marched back down the stairs, calling for Beca.

"Beca?" Beca paused her scrubbing when she head Jesse yelling her name.

"What?" She called out. She could hear Jesse clomping down the hardwood stair case.

"What the fuck is going on with my parents' bathroom?" He asked, walking back into the kitchen. Beca's eyes widened and then she sighed heavily.

"Well, it's not like there has been anyone around to use it."

"What the fuck did you do to it?" he demanded. Beca shifted her weight from her left foot to her right.

"We've been using it as a homemade recording studio."

"Recording...studio." Jesse repeated, staring at her in disbelief. Beca wished her face would stop blushing.

"Yes. A recording studio."

"For what?"

"What, are you stupid? What do you mean 'For what?'?"

"What do you record?"

"Well...if you must know-"

"It's in my house, so, yes, I must know."

"Jared and I use it with our band...to record some of our music."

"Is there a reason why you two are using my house?"

"Because no one has lived here in eleven years. Because there is no place else to do it, and because it's the perfect size for the acoustics we want. Because this house is at the end of the street and the house across the street and right next door are empty. And, oh yeah, no one lives here," Beca ticked off the reasons on her fingers.

"Well, someone does now," Jesse cried. "What the hell am I supposed to do with the master bathroom?"

"You have three other bathrooms in this damn house!" Beca shot back.

"That's not the point, Beca! You guys basically broke into my parents' house. Has my mother been paying for the electricity use from your little studio?"

"Its not like we could have asked your permission. After you changed your number, you conveniently forgot to let Jared and your other friends know what the new number was."

Her reply was punctuated by the buzzer sounding, alerting Beca to the fact that her first load of laundry was done washing. Of course, she groaned inwardly.

"What was that?" Jesse asked, turning towards the sound of the buzzer.

"Just the...washing machine," Beca replied slowly, hoping that Jesse didn't question as to why the washing machine was being used. He looked back at her, his eye brows raised.

"Are you doing your laundry at my parents' house while you clean it?"

"Fuck this...you can clean your own damn house from now on," Beca yelled at him, mortified. She pulled off her gloves, throwing them and her sponge into the basket of her cleaning supplies, before marching into the laundry room, pulling her wet laundry out of the washing machine and stuffing it back into the bag.

"Beca, wait," Jesse said behind her as she shouldered the bag and returned to her basket. "BecaLee." Beca whirled around on him, her eyes blazing in her fury.

"Don't call me that."

"What? I've always call you-"

"That is what my friends and family call me, Jesse Swanson. And you are neither." She watched Jesse's face go slack in shock. She turned back around, grabbing her basket and marched out of the house, off the porch, down the walkway to her car. She yanked the back door open and shoved the basket and the bag of laundry into her car before slamming the door and practically running around to the drivers' side. As soon as she was buckling her seat belt she pulled her phone out of her back pocket. She turned the key she had left in the ignition, hearing the engine roar to life. Then she pushed number two on her speed dial.

"Hello?"

"Chloe, I'm coming over. I have laundry to do. But I'm stopping by the liquor store first."

"Beca? Why? It's 3:00 on the afternoon."

"I don't care. I need whiskey. And I need it bad."

Forty five minutes later found Beca sitting on the floor, slamming a shot glass down into the wooden coffee table in Chloe's living room.

"So...are you ready to talk about it yet?" Chloe Beale asked carefully, tugging on a lock of her burgundy hair, as Beca swallowed and grimaced at the burn the whiskey left in her throat. Beca slid her eyes over to Chloe's face as she watched her from where she perched on the couch.

"Jesse," she said simply, unscrewing the lid to her whiskey bottle. When it was clear she wasn't going to elaborate, Chloe snatched the small bottle out of Beca's hand. Beca glared at her. But Chloe was more than used to Beca's glare and surly temper. They'd been best friends since they were fourteen. Beca sighed, knowing Chloe wasn't going to release he bottle of Jameson until she got what she wanted. "Jesse is back in town."

"Yes?" This, of course, wasn't news. Everyone knew he had driven into town this afternoon.

"Well, it's Thursday..." Beca let the sentence hang. Chloe stared at her in confusion for half a second before she understood what Beca was alluding to.

"Thursday!" Chloe gasped. "Thursday, it's your day to clean the Swanson house! So, you were in his house when he came in?" Beca nodded, snatching her whiskey from Chloe's distracted fingers. "Well? What happened?"

"Well, he says he lives there now."

"And?"

"And he wanted to know what happened to the master bathroom."

"Oh..."

"Yeah. And I got caught doing my laundry there." Chloe burst with laughter and Beca felt her cheeks flush. "It's not funny!" she insisted. Chloe shook her head, reigning in her chuckles.

"Well, how did he look?"

"Fucking amazing. The bastard," Beca sighed.

"Who's a bastard?" Jake asked, meandering into the living room, wearing nothing but a towel.

"Ugh, Jake! Put some clothes on!" Chloe groaned at her step brother. Jake narrowed his green eyes at Chloe in annoyance. Chloe remained unfazed.

"I just got out of the shower!" he defended his state of undress. "Besides, all my clothes are in the dryer."

"We have company," Chloe argued.

"Where ever are my manners?" Jake replied in a breathy falsetto. He then turned his attention to Beca, his eyes landing on the whiskey. "Good afternoon, BecaLee. Bumper know that you're drinkin' whiskey in my living room?"

"No, but I bet he will after you call and tell him," Beca grumbled. She poured herself another shot. Jake shrugged, walking out of the living room, presumably to get some clothes from the dryer.

"Beca, you have to be at work in three hours. Donald will kill you if you show up hammered. Plus, it's karaoke night." Beca groaned, letting her head fall back on her shoulders. She closed her eyes.

"Fuck this day! Fuck this whole day right in the fucking ass!" she whined.

"Well, that wasn't lady like," Jake chuckled, walking back into the living room, wearing a pair of black gym shorts, his usual choice in clothing after his daily 'Wash the sweat and horse muck off of my person' shower after getting done at the Galloway ranch.

"And to make matters worse," Beca continued. "if Jesse complains about me I'll lose this job. And then I will never be able to pay off the bill collectors and-"

"BecaLee," Jake stopped her, placing his hand on top of her head. Beca turned tearful blue eyes up to Jake. "You don't need to worry about that. You and Bumper are not alone and friendless, y'know. Of something happens, we'll help out how ever we can."

"Thanks, Jake," Beca sniffled.

"Besides," Chloe sighed, calling Beca's attention back to her. "You and I both know what the real travesty is, here."

"What?" Beca asked slowly. Chloe shook her head.

"That, after all this time, you finally meet Jesse Swanson again...and you're dressed in your shlubby, laundry day clothes."

Oh, shut up!" Beca groaned, fighting the smile that tugged at the corners of her mouth.


	5. Chapter 5

After staring for twenty minutes at the restaurant, Jesse finally turned the engine off. He had no choice, really, it was risk being mobbed by curious people at the farmer's market or...this place. "Big D's Pub," Jesse read out loud for the fifth time.

When last he'd been here, around nine and a half years ago, 'Big D's' was still called 'Bella's Country Kitchen', and it served greasy breakfast foods until one o'clock and then things like Salisbury Steak, Chicken Fried Steak, Fried Okra, and every Spring they would host a county Calf-Fry. Jesse had no idea what kind of establishment Big D's was, other than it was a family restaurant until 7:30 and then it was a 21 to enter bar. And, to be honest, it was the Bar factor that made him choose it instead of picking up groceries and eating in the stillness of his old house.

"Might as well get it over with," Jesse sighed, grabbing his ball cap and pulling it down onto his head. He opened his car, clicking the the lock button on his keys as he did so and shut the door behind him. Jesse kept his head down, staring at his feet as he walked through the parking lot, his hand shoved into his pockets. He could feel eyes on him as he neared the entrance. When he reached the door, he took his hand out of his pocket and pulled the door open, sighing at the whoosh of cool, air condition air that blew over him.

"Well, well, well, looks like I win the bet." Jesse looked up to see a red head that he recognized walking up to him. She wore black capris and a navy blue shirt that said "Big D's" across the chest. "I don't know why everyone thought you would just stay in your house."

"I know you..." Jesse began. "Kaylie?"

"Chloe."

"Yes! You and Beca were best friends."

"Still are," she sing-songed, tugging a lock oh her hair.

"Don't you have a sister, too? Raquel? Yeah, she went to that performance camp at Quartz Mountain with me." Chloe's smile faltered momentarily.

"Yeah. She passed away last year," Chloe said quietly.

"Oh my god. I...I'm so sorry, I didn't," Jesse stared at Chloe as he tripped over his apology. "I didn't know. I'm so sorry, Chloe. I liked your sister. I remember her being very talented."

"Thanks," she said sadly. "So, what can I do for you?" Jesse cleared his throat, feeling like the world's biggest ass.

"Can I get a table?" Chloe stared at him momentarily before a mischievous smile slid across her face.

"Sorry, no tables free," she told him. Jesse looked around to see more than a third of the tables were empty. "But," Chloe continued, leaning closer. "The bar is totally open." She winked at him and Jesse turned his attention to the bar. Just as Chloe had said, there was no one sitting at the bar.

"I'm actually here for food, not just alcohol," he explained.

"You can order food at the bar too. Just stay clear of the fried mushrooms," Chloe called over her shoulder as she walked away.

Okay..." Jesse made his way over the empty bar, looking for a bar tender.

It appeared the bar was unattended at that moment, and Jesse noticed that Chloe seemed to be the only other server on staff at the moment.

Jesse settled himself down onto one of the wooden barstool and waited for some one to notice.

Jesse glanced around, noticing that the interior of the resteraunt had been completely renovated. Bella's had been filled with round tables with checkered, plastic table clothes and kitsch-y nick-knacks on the walls, all to give the impression of being in your grandmother's kitchen. But the new owner had apparently decided not to go with the same motif. There were booths lined up along the wall and a large projector TV on the North wall, which was turned to some sports channel. There were pictures and posters on the wall of bands, ranging from the Grateful Dead to George Strait. There were smaller pictures that looked more like actual photographs of different concerts. "Guess the owner is a fan of music," Jesse mused. Suddenly, Jesse heard a commotion coming from behind the doors the lead to the kitchen. Jesse recognized the voice immediately.

"Call me 'Sweetheart' one more time, Donald, I dare you!" Jesse watched the swinging door open, being pushed from the inside, and Beca's profile was revealed as she yelled into the kitchen. Her face was stern and she was obviously giving someone the stare down. Jesse saw a thin, Indian looking man walk up to her, his hands up in surrender.

"Beca, look, I'm sorry," he said placatingly. "It won't happen again. I promise to acknowledge your feminist ideals and not call you Sweetie any more." The man adjusted the glasses on his face and smiled widely at Beca.

"Thank you."

"Don't sweat it, Doll!" Beca tipped her hair back and laughed loudly and Jesse couldn't tear his eyes away from her smile. It was the same smile he remembered her having when she was young. Jesse took a moment to look at her, to really look at her, to take in all the ways she had changed.

Her hair was longer, much longer. She had always kept it shoulder length in high school, so it wouldn't bother her during soccer. She was still slender, but her body was strong looking instead of willowy like she used to look. She was fit, not simply skinny, her thighs were shapely beneath the black Capri pants she wore, and the navy blue shirt she wore rode high on the bell of her waist, revealing the toned muscles on her tummy. And the rolled up sleeves of her shirt revealed designs of the tattoos covering her upper arms. She had piercings all along the rim of her cartilage, including a gauge spike in her lobe.

When she was sixteen, Beca mostly only wore mascara on her face, but now her eyes were heavily lined with a smokey grey shadow to accompany the blackest black mascara on her long lashes.

But most of all, she carried herself differently. Beca had been shy and sweet when Jesse knew her. Now, she walked with purpose, held herself up proudly, and held a look on her face that clearly said "I dare you."

It was so strange to see someone looking so different and yet so...same at once.

Jesse felt his breath hitch as Beca turned and walked out through the door into the bar area. He watched her smile slip from her face as she noticed him sitting there, staring at her.

"What do you want?" She growled, crossing her arms.

"Well, I haven't exactly gotten a chance to peruse a menu yet-"

"What do you want, Jesse?"

"Hey, I just came in to get something to eat. This is the only place open after eight o'clock," Jesse explained. Beca stared at him.

"Fine. Just...don't order the fried mushrooms."  
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________  
Beca was going to kill Chloe. Friendship be damned. She marched right up behind the red head and yanked at the end of her long braid, not paying any heed to the person that was currently giving their food order to Chloe at that moment.

"Ouch! What the fuck, Beca Lee?"

"You know why!" Beca growled before turning back around and stomping back to the bar. Donald might let her get away with a lot, but neglecting a famous customer would almost certainly get her written up. And she couldn't afford to put both of her jobs in jeopardy for just for Jesse fucking Swanson.

"You know what you want yet?" She asked as she returned to her place behind the bar. Jesse looked up at her and Beca found herself momentarily caught in his dark brown eyes.

"Are the burgers any good?" he asked. Beca shook herself out of her stupor.

"Yes," she answered simply. "You want French fries or fried pickles for your side?" Jesse's face lit up suddenly, his crooked smile sliding across his face.

"Holy shit, I haven't had fried pickles in forever!" Beca couldn't stop her chuckle.

"So, fried pickles, then?"

"Yes," Jesse confirmed excitedly. "And a bourbon. Please."

"Coming right up," Beca told him, heading for the swinging doors of the kitchen. "Donald, I need a burger and fried pickles!" she called out before letting the doors swing shut and walking over to where the liquor bottles sat on the back counter she grabbed a tumbler from the shelf and the open bottle of bourbon, pouring it into the tumbler, smoothly. When she'd filled the tumbler she walked back over to Jesse and set it down on the bar top in front of him.

"Hey, Beca Le-uh...Beca," Jesse began. "About earlier-"

"If you're looking for an apology-"

"No no! Uh, I was actually going to say sorry. I over reacted and..." Jesse trailed off, staring up at Beca as she watched him.

"And?" She prompted softly, her voice barely a murmur. She was lost again in his russet irises. She watched him bite his bottom lip, her eyes immediately drawn to his heart shaped lips, before continuing. "I'd like it if you still cleaned the house once a week, though, you don't have to do the whole house. And you can do your laundry there if you need to."

"Okay," she whispered. Jesse leaned forward, placing his elbows on the bar, and Beca could feel herself leaning towards him.

"I was wondering-"

"Look what the fucking cat dragged in! Who let your ass back into this town!" Jesse and Beca turned together to look at the person yelling at them from the entrance of the restaurant.

"Bumper!" Jesse laughed, standing up as Bumper made his way over, Jake and Benji trailed behind him. "Holy shit, dude! How've you been?" Jesse and Bumper hugged briefly before stepping back to look at each other. Beca looked on nervously.

"I've been great, man," Bumper laughed. "I'm still the biggest fish in this tiny pond, so I can't complain."

"You look good," Jesse told him.

"Thanks man. You look like shit."

"Same old Bumper," Jesse chuckled. "Let me buy you a drink." Beca swallowed hard, looking nervously over to Benji and Jake who were nonchalantly watching the exchange.

"Thanks, man," Bumper said, sitting down next to Jesse. "But, uh, I don't drink anymore." Jesse's shock was plain on his face.

"Really?" Beca was close to biting her nails, wanting to head off this conversation, but one slight shake of Benji's head told her to wait it out. And Benji was right, she knew in the back of her mind that she couldn't keep mothering her brother.

"Yeah, dude. It's part of the whole twelve steps. Gotta abstain from all that shit." Beca watched Jesse's face as what her brother said sank in.

"Twelve steps," he said slowly. "AA?"

"NA, actually-hey, BecaLee, grab me a Dr Pepper?" Beca walked back to the cooler to grab a can of Dr Pepper for her brother, straining to keep up with his conversation with Jesse.

"NA?"

"Narcotics Anonymous. It sounds way worse than it actually is, though," Bumper explained.

"Wait, I don't understand, you never touched drugs when we were kids." Beca plunked the can down in front of Bumper and moved to stand in front of where Benji and Jake sat, still watching her brother.

"Calm down, Beca," Benji murmured quietly to her, taking her hand in his and squeezing it reassuringly. "Coming clean about it is part of the program. It's not healthy to treat it like a dirty secret."

"I know that," she muttered. "I just don't see why Jared thinks Jesse deserves to know." She closed her eyes, drawing in a deep breath as the memory of Bumper's accident came back to her.

Beca was twenty two and was in her fourth year at Berkley, in Boston Massachusetts , double majoring in Contemporary Writing/Production and Performance, when Bumper had his accident.

She had just walked out of her Music Production III class and checked her phone to see a text from her brother.

Got hurt at work. Not serious. They're making me go to the Dr as a precaution. Don't worry.

Beca had immediately phoned Chloe to ask what happened, knowing that Bumper was probably down playing the severity of his injury. Chloe, she knew, would give her the truth.

As it turned out, Bumper had been knocked off a beam and his safety harness had snapped, falling 10 feet and landing on his back. He was rushed to the ER because his right leg had gone numb.

Beca was on the next bus to Oklahoma City from Boston, texting Chloe and Benji, who were both in the hospital with Bumper while he was under observation. She learned through them that the X-rays had revealed that he had crushed a disk in his spine but the Drs were certain that after surgery he would be back to normal.

"He's not going to be paralyzed, BecaLee," Benji had assured her. "He'll be okay. As good as new after he's done with physical therapy." Beca's eyes had been leaking steady tears since she had first found out about his accident. But she had wept openly in relief, not caring about the strange looks the other passengers have her. She arrived at the hospital just as Bumper had finished with his surgery, and she wept some more as he slept in the recovery room.

Beca stayed for two weeks before Bumper forced her to return to Boston to finish school. But Beca called her brother every day to check up on him. She had no idea that he had a problem with his pain medication until a year later, when she had received a call that Bumper had been arrested for buying a controlled substance from an undercover cop. Once more she was on a bus back home and when she was finally allowed to see her brother she was told about his addiction to the medication that he had been prescribed after his surgery for the pain in his back.

She'd had just half a semester left until she graduated, but Beca had refused to leave her brother's side. She wouldn't leave him to deal with rehab and court appearances alone. Bumper and Gran had saved up money to send Beca to the college of her choosing, Bumper going to a trade school instead of college, and Gran foregoing retirement to make enough money, all so that she could escape this town. And while she was busy enjoying her freedom, Gran-who had raised Beca and Bumper after their parents were killed in a car wreck, had died from heart failure and Bumper had spiraled into an addiction due to pain and stress. Bumper had argued and threatened her about returning to finish her degree. But Beca wouldn't budge on the subject.

"So you crushed a disk? In your spine?" Jesse asked, bringing Beca out of her reverie.

"Yeah, Dude! Totally smashed it. Look, I have a picture of the X ray on my phone."

"Men," Beca grunted in annoyance.

"Enough about me, what the fuck are you here for, Princess?" Bumper asked, steering the conversation back towards Jesse.

"Hey, who ordered the burger?" Donald yelled, pushing through the swinging doors with a plate in his hand.

"Over here, Donald," Beca called, pointing to Jesse, who looked as though he had lost his appetite. Donald began making his way over when he suddenly halted.

"Hey, aren't you-"

"The food, Donald. Just give him the food and walk away," Beca cut him off. Donald shot her an annoyed glare before handing her the plate of food.

"You're the one who took his order. I don't pay you to stand around and look pretty, Sweethear." And with that he spun on his heels and walked back into the kitchen.

"You MotherFuc-"

"Beca Lee!" Bumper barked, quieting Beca immediately. "You think Gran would be proud to hear your language?"

"Oh, shut up, Jared!" She snapped, dropping Jesse's food in front of him. Beca felt her face heat up. She hated it when Bumper admonished her in public.

"Dude!" Bumper said seriously. "Why didn't you order any fried mushrooms?"

"Uh-" Jesse began but Bumper cut him off.

"Beca, go tell Donald we want an order of his fried mushrooms! Hurry up!"

"Fine," Beca sighed. "But I hope he pukes on you. And I'm not cleaning it up."


	6. Chapter 6

wo weeks. Jesse had been back in this stupid little town for two fucking weeks. And Beca couldn't seem to stop running in to him. It was bad enough that he met Bumper and Jake for dinner every evening at Big D's, sitting at the bar. Every. Damn. Time. So that Beca was forced to wait on them. But now she was running in to him at the Farmer's Market, the movie theatre, even at the gas station. Not to mention they saw each other every Thursday when she showed up to clean his house.

It wouldn't be so bad if he wasn't always there, but for some reason he wanted to talk to her and ask her questions about her life. Like he really fucking cares, she thought with disdain. It's his MO. Make you think he cares about you, sleeps with you, and fucking leaves you to deal with the mess he's left behind. And the worst part was that she couldn't tell him to fuck off because her brother had instructed her not to.

"Cut him some slack," Bumper had said. "He's going through a hard time. Just like everyone else."

"Jesus...Those NA meetings have changed you," Beca had grumbled.

"Don't worry, I'm still an asshole underneath all this wisdom."

Beca's one solace, her one escape was band practice, which she needed desperately after today. Today had been awful. Today she had driven Chloe to the airport. Her best friend had moved to New York with her own band in the hopes of making it, but mostly to escape from Clear Valley, Oklahoma.

"You could still come with me?" Chloe had said tearfully into Beca's hair as they hugged outside of the security gate. Beca had sobbed, wanting so very much to say "Yes, please take me with you." But she shook her head.

"I can't Chloe. Jared needs me. Besides, I got my taste of freedom already," she replied, instead. Chloe drew back from her, nodding and wiping her eyes.

"Are you two Bitches gonna let me in on this! I'm your best friend too!" Benji sniffled from behind Beca. Laughing, both girls turned and pulled him into their arms.

Beca looked back and forth between Chloe and Benji. Her two best friends. They had been there for her through the very worst days of her life, seen her when she was at her absolute lowest, and loved her through each moment. She would have been lost without the both of them.

"Ok, Red, you better get going or you will miss your flight," Benji said tearfully. "And I don't think Becs and I could make it through another goodbye."

"Call us as soon as you get there," Beca ordered. Chloe had nodded, releasing her friends and picking up her guitar cases and duffle bag, walking backward toward the line for the security checkpoint.

Beca sighed, her breath hitching slightly as she drove to the storage park.

"I miss her already," Benji said from her passenger seat. Beca nodded, not taking her eyes off of the road. Just two more miles and they would reach the storage park. And then Beca could lose herself in her music and forget about all the things that were troubling her.

But, of course, Jesse had to ruin that too.

"No! Nononono!" Beca said loudly when she looked up to see Jesse following her brother into the storage shed that Beca, Bumper, Jake, and Benji rented and used to store their equipment as well as practice together once a week. "What is he doing here?"

"It's nice to see you too, Becs," Jesse replied casually. Beca could feel the flimsy grasp she held on her emotions and temper beginning to slip. This wouldn't be pretty.

"He's auditioning," Bumper answered, walking past her to set his base guitar down.

"My vote is no," she spat, turning and walking over to where her guitar sat propped in its stand. "Last I checked, we played rock music. I don't see how some moron who knows how to play Für Elise on the piano is gonna help us out."

"Oh, I sing, too. You might remember," Jess interjected, making Beca pause momentarily in her trek to her guitar. Oh, she remembered. She had gone to every choir concert, every play, every musical he had ever been in in junior high and high school.

"You gonna sing something from Hello, Dolly for us?" She called over her shoulder. She glanced back and was rewarded with a dark glare from his russet brown eyes.

"Actually, he's gonna try out as our new lead singer," Bumper interjected smoothly, picking up his red bass guitar. Beca spun back to her brother.

"You must be joking."

"We need a lead singer. Luke left us high and dry and Jesse can sing, you know that as well as I do. Besides, Jesse has nothing going on right now, so why not?" Bumper reasoned.

"We've been doing just fine without Luke," Beca argued. "Jared, we all can sing too, we don't need another Prima Donna lead singer." She shot him a nasty glare and watched as his eyes widened, jaw ticking with annoyance.

"Beca," Bumper said warningly.

"No! Don't you give me that damn tone, Jared! I'm part of this band, too, I get a damn say in this. And I'm saying No. All this is gonna do is screw us up when he leaves."

"Why do you automatically assume that I'm just gonna leave?"

"Because it's what you do," she spat. She watched as Jesse narrowed his eyes, clenching his jaw. And, as memory served her, that was a sure sign that she had crossed some line and had managed to actually make him mad.

"What, so you're mad at me for doing something that you never had the guts to do yourself?"

"Don't you dare pretend that you know me or what I have the balls to do, Jesse Swanson," Beca growled.

"Oh, I know you, Beca. I know a hundred girls like you. You walk around with a chip on your shoulder, thinking the world owes you because your life was hard. Well guess what, Baby, everyone's life sucks. What's so special about you? Nothing. You're just a sad, angry little girl," Jesse sneered, and Beca could practically feel his eyes as they raked over her. She could feel the weight of the black sweat bands at both of her wrists under his appraisal, her favorite faded purple wife beater suddenly uncomfortable. Jesus, his scrutiny even made her hyper aware of every rip and hole in the gray skinny jeans she wore and the fact that the laces of her Chuck Taylors were dingy and frayed. To her absolute horror, Beca felt her cheeks flush in embarrassment. She turned to Bumper.

"Are you really gonna let him talk to me like that?" Her brother shrugged.

"You were a bitch to him first. What did Gran always tell you? Don't dish out what you can't take, Beca Lee." Beca wanted to scream. She hazarded a quick glance at everyone else in the room. Jake was studiously picking at something on the palm of his hand, while Benji was simply staring at his shoes. But it was the carefully schooled look at neutrality on Jesse's face that felt like a kick in the gut. The last time he had given her that look-

Beca strode over to where her satchel sat on the concrete floor.

"Beca," Bumper began in a warning tone. She ignored him. "Rebeca Lee Mitchell!"

"Fuck you, don't call me that. You're not Gran and I don't have to listen to you," she spat, reaching into her bag. "I'm just going to smoke a cigarette."

"Don't take too long," Bumper barked as she strode out the door, cigarettes and lighter in hand.

"I'll take as long as I want, Fucker, or you can start looking for another guitar player." Bumper rolled his eyes, knowing the threat was an empty one. The band was her only outlet, she would never quit. He turned to Jesse, who looked more than a little uncomfortable.

"Listen, I don't wanna step on any toes," he began but Bumper waved his apology off.

"She'll get over it. Now, you wanna show us what you got, Hollywood?"

Beca leaned against the side of the building, resting her head against the cream colored stucco and lifting a cigarette to her lips with a shaky hand before lighting it. She inhaled deeply, hating the taste of the smoke but relishing the rush the nicotine sent through her body. She didn't smoke often, usually only when she was incredibly stressed. She knew Bumper hated it and tried not to do it in front of him, but today she was too angry to care.

Normally she would be calling or texting Chloe or Benji to vent but...well, Chloe was probably still in an airplane and Benji was inside playing his guitar. Beca could hear Jesse laugh briefly before singing along to Everlong by the Foo Fighters. His voice was solid, the pitch matching perfectly and the timbre pleasing to the ear.

He was good. Better than Luke had been. Jesse had the talent, and Lord knew he had drive. But music had been her escape, her rescue when she was getting over what he had done to her. And letting him into this facet of her life...well it felt like laying all her old wounds open to be picked at by her insecurities all over again.

But the boy could sing. And Beca realized that she could stand outside and listen to him sing all day. She lifted the cigarette to her lips, inhaling again. She cast her eyes up, watching the clouds gather and roll in the sky above her.

"Uh, hey, Beca?" Benji called tentatively. Beca sighed and rolled her head to look at her friend. "Um, Bumper wants to know if you're ready to come-"

"No, I said ask her if she's done with her damn hissy fit! This ain't a bakery, quit sugar coating shit!" Bumper yelled from within the unit. Benji and Beca stared at each other.

"Uh, what he said," Benji mumbled. Beca rolled her eyes but held her tongue. Benji certainly didn't deserve her wrath and starting a 'Who Can Out Sass Whom' with Bumper would just end up with the two of them not speaking to each other for days until Bumper decided that the fight was over and to come and fuck with her while she worked at the Bar.

She brought the cigarette up to her lips for one final puff before dropping it on the gravel and stepping on it with the toe of her shoe.

"Let's go back inside," she grunted. "Guess I'm gonna be part of this train wreck whether I want to be or not."

"That's the spirit, Sugar," Benji chuckled, hooking an arm around her shoulders as they walked back into the unit.

The rest of band practice consisted of teaching Jesse the songs that Beca and the rest of the band had written. He was given the black folder that contained all of the lyrics to the songs they played. Jesse learned fairly quickly, even Beca had to admit that she was impressed. Not out loud, of course. Never out loud.

She hated to admit that listening to Jesse sing did funny things to her pulse. She had always loved listening to him during his shows or his choir concerts. But hearing him singing the lyrics she had written, even a few she had written about him was more than slightly distracting. She flubbed several chord progressions during a bridge when Jesse began to use a more raspy voice, enough so that she could see her brother's sidelong glance, the look on his face showing that he knew something was going on with her. Beca shook her head in frustration. This was the very definition of torture.

"Alright, I think we'll call that good for today," Bumper announced, setting his bass down I'm his case. "I gotta get to work."

"I thought you just got off work?" Jesse asked, setting his microphone back into its stand. He cleared his throat a little, his voice not used to being worked so hard.

"Yep. I work mornings with Karr's Landscaping and nights stocking the Walmart over in Bethel."

"Jesus. When do you sleep?"

"Times are tuff, Tube sock," Beca chuckled humorlessly. "You do what you gotta do to make ends meet." Jesse stared at her as she walked over to the amp her guitar was plugged into, disconnecting the cord. He had been struggling no to blatantly stare at her the last two hours while she had played her guitar. She was good, her fingers were nimble and she moved them smoothly along the fret board. But more than that, Beca just understood how to make instruments play the music the way she wanted them to sound. At one point she had gone over to Jake at the drums and taken an extra pair of drum sticks to add an extra beat on the large floor tom and the crash cymbal while he played flawlessly on the snare and high hat. She was amazing. Mesmerizing.

"Why'd you call him Tube Sock?" He heard Benji ask quietly. Jesse rolled his eyes, smiling at the old nickname, and walked closer to eavesdrop as Benji and Beca packed their guitars back into their cases.

Beca snorted as she closed the case and snapped the latches.

"The summer before Jared and Jesse started high school, they started hanging out with some kids that were already in high school, going to all these parties and drinking. One time, Jesse got so drunk that he passed out in the middle of a party. I guess some of the other kids decided it would be funny to strip him and hide his clothes. When Jesse woke up, the party was still going on and all he had was a tube sock on his dick," Beca chuckled, wrapping her cord carefully around her arm. "Anyways, no one would tell him where his clothes were. I guess people they thought he would freak out. But the moron just shrugged his shoulders and asked for another beer and just spent the rest of the night with nothing but the tube sock on." Jesse laughed.

"Jesus, he's got balls!"

"Not really. I was just drunk enough to not have any shame," Jesse interjected. "But the only person who ever really gave me shit about that night was Beca, here. She coined the nick name, and usually used it when she wants to make me blush."

"Hmm," Beca hummed, picking her guitar case up in one hand and her pedal board in the other. "I wasn't aware you could do that anymore unless it was scripted." She cocked an eyebrow at him. Jesse smiled at her and took note of the small blush that rosied her cheeks.

"You know how I hate to go off script."

"Tell me, Jesse, if I went off script, and kicked you in the balls, could you keep yourself from crying?"

"Til the cameras quite rolling," he replied easily. "Need any help?"

"Don't worry about it, Hollywood. I wouldn't want you to ruin your manicure." Beca was rewarded with his smile sliding off his face and his jaw ticking in annoyance.  
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________  
Jesse stood, staring after Beca as she carried her guitar case and her pedal board out the door. He had to fight the urge to follow after her. It's not like she had said anything worse than what everyone else said to him. And it certainly wasn't as catty as what she had said earlier. But for some reason, it bothered him more, coming from her. Benji chuckled and Jesse turned to watch him as he unplugged his amp from the extension cord.

"Isn't it funny how that girl can say something that sounds polite but make it sound like she's telling you to fuck off?" Jesse huffed.

"Yeah. That particular talent hadn't been perfected back when I knew her," he admitted. Benji stood up, regarding him thoughtfully.

"I take it, you didn't really keep in touch over the years?" Jesse looked down at his shoes. Benji took the hint. "Well, I've known BecaLee for the last eight years. And I've gotten the lowdown on every guy that's ever wronged her in the past. But your name...she never once uttered a single syllable of your name until you came here. So either she holds a special kind of loathing for you, like voodoo dolls and satanic alters with pictures of you with your face X'd out with cat's blood..." Jesse laughed at Benji's hyperbole.

"Or?" Benji shrugged and returned to winding up cords.

"Or she is still carrying one hell of a torch for you." Jesse snorted in disbelief. "And I've had enough sleep overs with that girl to know that she doesn't have an alter hiding in her crappy apartment." Benji looked over at him in surprise.

"Are you and her...?"

"Oh, Jesus, no," Benji laughed. "Not even when I was still pretending to be straight!" Jesse blinked in shock. "You couldn't tell? I would think that someone with your profession would have better Gaydar."

"I just... didn't expect any one like that to willingly stay here in Clear Valley. There can't be that many choices for dates here." Benji laughed at Jesse's reply.

"There are precisely four in town, not including myself. And none are my type. Although, there are a couple straight boys I'd consider trying to turn." Benji winked at Jesse.

"Oh, uh...I'm not-"

"Sorry, Jesse, not you," Benji chuckled, cutting him off. "You're not my type."

"I'm not?" he repeated. "Why not? Am I not butch enough? Pretty enough?" Benji laughed again.

"I like my men tall and blond," he explained. "But if you happen to have an in with that Renner guy from you last movie..." Benji winked again and Jesse laughed nervously.

"Renner? Really?"

"Dude, the pants he wore in that comic book movie," Benji closed his eyes and fanned himself. Jesse laughed in earnest.

"I'll, uh, ask my agent if he knows Renner's people."  
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________  
Jesse scrubbed his hands over his face as he sat down on the couch. It was six in the evening and he was wired. Singing with the band had given him this...feeling...this energy. Jesse felt electrically charged with absolutely no outlet. I could clean, he supposed. But Beca was supposed to come tomorrow. And if the house was already clean then she would have no reason to stay...and clean. If she comes tomorrow... Jesse sighed. He shouldn't have blown up like that. But it was infuriating that she just assumed he was going to just up and leave.

But you are, a voice in the back of his head whispered. When this movie is done filming you'll just pack up and go back to LA where your life is. Was it, though? Jesse wasn't so sure anymore. What exactly was waiting for him in LA? Not a girlfriend, not any more. Friends? Jesse wasn't sure he could even name three people that would actually miss him out there. He'd been so busy with his career that there hadn't really been time to make real friends. What about your career? The voice countered. Famous people don't live in po-dunk towns in the middle of Oklahoma...

But being back in Clear Valley, being back around Bumper and Beca and even Benji and Jake, Jesse felt lighter than he had in years. It was nice to be around people who didn't expect you to get them into exclusive clubs or introduce them to famous people. He didn't feel like he had to act like a movie star. He didn't feel like he needed to be trendy or cool. It was nice to just be...Jesse...

Jesse nearly jumped out of his own skin when his cell phone began ringing. He pulled it from his pocket and answered with out reading the caller ID.

"Hello?"

"Jesse! How's Oklahoma?"

"Steve," Jesse said, sitting up straight. "It's good, actually. Really good. What's up?"

"Glad to hear that, son. Listen, I just got off the phone with Samuel Lerman, y'know, the guy who finances that show, Mysterious? Well, he and his partner are interested in this movie you wanna direct. They love the premise and-get this-they love that you wanna shoot it in Oklahoma."

"You're kidding! So, they'll help finance?" Jesse asked hopefully.

"They said they're in. The only thing is, they want this actress, uh...Aubrey...Posen to be the lead female."

"Aubrey Posen? Is she even free? Would she even do it?" Jesse asked in disbelief. Aubrey Posen was new to the scene, but after being in the latest Werewolf Blockbuster the year before she was in high demand. Everyone wanted Aubrey in their movie. Why the hell would she want to waste her time in an indie film?

"I guess they've already talked to her and she has agreed. She'll be arriving in two weeks."

"Two weeks?"

"Yes. I assume you've already gotten started on getting the permission and permits that you need for filming?"

"I have an appointment with the mayor tomorrow to talk about it with him," Jesse explained.

"Perfect," Steve told him. "Just start name dropping, Son. The mayor would be an idiot to say no."

"Got it."

"Alright, call me tomorrow and let me know how it goes."

"Okay!"

"Good luck!" Jesse pulled the phone away from his face, staring at it in awe. Everything was finally coming together.

"Yes!" Jesse shouted, pumping his fist in the air. Suddenly a knock sounded at his door. Jesse stood up to go to the door just as it opened.

"Dude, you should really lock your door. Some weirdo could just walk right in to your house," Bumper called as he shut the door behind him. Jesse shook his head, rolling his eyes.

"I thought you had to be at work," he said, walking over to where Bumper stood in the foyer.

"I called in. Look, you and I need to talk," Bumper told him. Jesse raised an eyebrow.

"About what?"

"Beca."

"Hey, man, I-"

"No, no, you had every right to get in her face about today," Bumper interrupted. "I just think that you should know why Beca is the way she is." Jesse stared at his friend. It was strange to see his friend standing before him with such a serious demeanor. He had rarely taken anything seriously as a child, and never improved during their adolescence. This was one of those times that made Jesse aware of how much had changed about the people he thought he knew. And how much he had missed.

"Did you wanna sit down?" Jesse asked, pointing towards the couch. Bumper looked past him into the sitting area. His face clouded over for a second before smoothing out into his usual smirk.

"Nah, I'm hungry. Lets have this conversation over some food."

"Cool, where do you wanna go?"

"Big D's is fine," Bumper replied, opening the front door. Jesse scoffed, grabbing his wallet and keys as they walked out onto the porch.

"You want to have an important conversation about your sister at the place she works?"

"Dude, there's really nowhere else, unless you wanna have a romantic picnic in the Farmer's Market parking lot." Bumper looked back at Jesse. "By the way, you're driving. I'm low on gas."


	7. Chapter 7

**_And the hits just keep on coming_** , Beca thought dejectedly. **_Just my fucking luck_**. Luke was back in town. Luke, who used to be the singer in her band. Luke who used to-ugh, the word boyfriend was far too formal for two people who just happened to hook up. A lot. **_In the past…_**

And he wanted his old job back, which was to tend the bar. Which would have been a moot point because Beca had taken his place. But now that Jesse was back in town, and Big D's was his favorite hangout, more and more people were coming in to catch a glimpse of a movie star, including people from neighboring towns. It was too much for Beca to handle by herself and Amy, the new waitress, was still learning the ropes. So Luke was given the position of working both the tables and the bar. And he used every opportunity he got to fuck with Beca.

"Donald, I need two orders of chicken strips with curly fries, a burger-no ketchup, add cheese-and nachos," Beca called through the swinging doors.

"Becs, we're gonna have to actually start writing this shit down on tickets. It's getting harder to keep up with these orders," Donald called back.

"Hire another cook, D," she told him. "I'll look for the ticket pads on my break. Just be glad it's kinda slow tonight." Beca let the door swing closed, turning around to return the customers sitting around the bar, and running face first into Luke's hard chest. Beca stumbled back, glaring up into his grey eyes. "Jesus, what the fuck, Luke?" He smiled at her, the same smile that used to entice Beca but now only served to make her angrier. She wanted to rip his wavy blond hair out of his skull.

"Easy there, Becky," Luke laughed, grasping Beca's hips and holding her to him. "There customers here, so I think we should keep things professional."

"Get your damn hands off me, Luke," she growled taking a step back from him.

"Aw, come on, Becky, don't be like that," he chuckled, his eyes looking her up and down. He took a step towards her, crowding her up against the doors. "As I recall, you used to enjoy when I put my hands on you." Beca narrowed her eyes, balling up her fists. **_This is it_** , she sighed to herself. **_This is the night I get fired. And it will be for brawling with a coworker. In a bar. Because I'm fucking classy like that._** Beca rose her fists, drawing her right back.

"Hey, Luke, I need you to come back and start washing some dishes. I can't wash the dishes and cook," Donald said, pulling one of the swinging doors open.

"Why me? Why not Becky?" Luke argued, looking affronted.

"Beca is working the bar," Donald explained. "Besides, you know she isn't allowed anywhere near where food is being cooked."

"But, the customers-"

"We're not that busy at the moment," Donald cut his argument off. "So, get in here, wash the dishes and then you can come back out and help Beca." Donald adjusted his black rimmed glasses, winking at Beca before letting go of the door to return to the kitchen.

"Motherfucker," Luke grumbled, stepping past Beca and violently pushing open the doors.

"That was conveniently timed," Beca muttered. She turned back to the bar where her eyes landed immediately upon Benji as he scrambled to tuck his cell phone back into the pocket of his jeans. Beca marched over to him, placing her palms on top of the wooden bar separating them.

"Did you text Donald and tell him to interrupt?" she demanded. Benji smiled sweetly, his dimples showing.

"I may have."

"I was about to beat that shit eating grin off of his face!"

"You would have been fired."

"It would have been worth it," Beca grumbled. But she walked over to the cooler, pulling out an orange Fanta-Benji's favorite-and tossed it to him with a smile. "You're lucky I love you so much, Nerd."

"I love you too, BecaLee," Benji laughed, rolling his eyes.

"What are you two weirdos gabbing about," Amy asked, meandering up to the bar. She slid onto a stool and leaned heavily on the bar. "Ugh, I need better shoes for this shit," she groaned, tucking a strand of her blond hair behind her ear.

"How are the tables tonight?" Beca asked, grabbing a glass and filling it with ice and water before handing it to Amy.

"They're ok. But a kid asked me why I was fat, earlier," Amy sighed, looking down at herself. Beca made a sound of disgust.

"You're kidding!" She exclaimed. It was true, Amy was heavy set, but who in their right mind would ever say such a thing?

"What did you say?" Benji asked, horrified.

"I told the kid I was so fat because I keep eating rude little children," Amy replied before taking a sip of her water. Beca laughed. She couldn't help it. She wished she could have seen Amy say it. There were many times a customer had been rude to her that she wished she had the guts to say rude things back.

"Well, other than that, how are you liking it so far?" Benji asked, chuckling.

"It's pretty cool, actually. It's a lot like my other job."

"What's your other job?"

"I care for young children."

"Waiting tables is like taking care of children?"

"Totally. It's all 'I want this, I want that, I said no pickles, someone clogged the toilet'," Amy explained. Benji and Beca stared her.

"Is that seriously what taking care of kids is like?" Benji asked.

"It's exactly like it." As Beca opened her mouth to ask another question the bell above the entrance jangled. Beca shifted her navy gaze to the door.

"Ugh. Could this day get any fucking worse," she groaned as she watched Jesse and Bumper walk through the door, headed straight for the bar.

* * *

 

"You two can go sit in a booth," Beca said waspishly as soon as Jesse and Bumper walked through the front door. "I don't have the time or the patience to deal with either of you." Jesse felt his eyes widen in shock. He glanced at Bumper who simply rolled his eyes.

"Relax, BecaLee, we didn't want to be looking at your ugly face anyways," Bumper replied, walking up to the bar. "But give us some drinks, first." Beca _tsked_ , shaking her head as she walked back to the cooler for a Dr Pepper for her brother. She looked over her shoulder at Jesse expectantly.

"If I ask for a bourbon, are you gonna poison it?" Jesse asked warily.

"I might spit in it," she snapped.

"I'll have a Dos Equis, then. In a bottle. You can leave the cap on." Jesse thought he saw Beca smile, but she turned her head too quickly for him to be sure. She grabbed a bottle of Dos Equis and walked it and Bumper's Dr Pepper over to them, holding them out. Jesse took the bottle from her hand, glancing up at her through his lashes when his fingers brushed against hers. She yanked her hand back and walked away, but not before Jesse caught the blush on her cheeks.

"C'mon, let's go find a table," Bumper said, calling Jesse's attention away from the petite brunette that for some reason had set his heart racing with a simple touch. Jesse sighed, following Bumper towards a booth just to the left of the bar.

"Dude, what's with your sister's hostility? Did I seriously offend her today?" Jesse asked as they both slid into the booth.

"Nah, she's just an angry person," Bumper said before taking a sip of his Dr Pepper. Jesse made a face.

"Angry about what?" he pressed.

"A lot of things. Mostly stupid shit, because she won't let herself be angry at me." Jesse frowned, not sure what to say. He glanced over Bumper's shoulder to watch Beca as she brought a plate of nachos out from the kitchen.

"Why would she be mad at you?" Jesse finally asked, looking back at Bumper. He watched as his friend raked his fingers through his sandy brown hair, turning his hazel eyes down to the table top.

"I really fucked up, man," Bumper said quietly and Jesse was frozen. Bumper had never been the type of person to talk about things that were bothering him. Bumper was always the kind of person who believed in soldiering on and not wasting time talking to other people about his problems-because everybody else had their own demons to deal with, he'd explained one day when they were fifteen. "I mean, all Beca ever wanted was to get away from this town and to be a musician. So, Gran and I saved up every single cent we had and Beca worked hard and applied for every single scholarship she could find. And she got accepted into Berklee in Boston. She was out, man. She was so close to making it. But when I got arrested..."

Bumper paused and looked up at the ceiling for a moment. Jesse watched him take a few breaths before looking back at the table. "When Beca found out I was addicted to OxyContin, she just gave up college. She had half a semester left, she had a life out there. And she just threw it away to take care of my sorry ass. I'm the big brother, but my kid sister had to give up her one shot at getting away from this damn town to take care of me. After everything that happened to her in high school, the one thing that got her through it was knowing that she had a chance to get away after graduation. And I fucked that up for her."

"Wait, what happened in high school?" Bumper paused. He regarded Jesse for a moment.

"That's the other reason why Beca is angry," he said, his voice low. "After you moved, Beca started going to all these parties and drinking all the time. I think she just wanted to forget about you."

"Me?" Jesse asked nervously. Bumper didn't know...did he?

"Dude, do you really not remember the huge crush she had on you?" Bumper asked skeptically.

"Oh, that," Jesse said, clearing his throat. "Yeah, I guess I do."

"Well, she took your leaving pretty hard for a while so she just kinda went wild. And then, she just stopped. Everything. She didn't speak, stopped going to soccer practice, and quit hanging out with almost all of her friends. Then, one night she comes to me in tears and tells me she's pregnant."

"What the fuck," Jesse swore, his eyes wide with shock. "So she had a kid?" Bumper shook his head.

"She miscarried. Right at twelve weeks. Fucked her up for months, man. And to top it off, some of the kids we went to school with found out she was pregnant. They gave her a lot of shit about it. That's why she wanted to get away so badly."

"What about the guy? Who was it?" Jesse pressed. He felt angry. Who could do something like that to some one? To Beca?

"She never would tell me," Bumper replied, shaking his head. "She told me it was better not knowing, not involving him in any way. The guy is lucky my sister never told on him. I will fucking break his jaw and force feed him his own testicles if I ever find out who it was." Jesse believed him. Hell, he wanted to do the same thing.

"Fuck, I had no idea, man. I'm sorry." Bumper shrugged. "When did it happen?" Bumper took another sip of his drink, thinking. Jesse brought his own bottle to his lips, taking a long pull from it.

"End of her sophomore year? So, the summer after you left." Jesse choked on the bitter liquid, feeling his esophagus constrict painfully. He pulled the bottle from his mouth, coughing loudly. "You okay?" Bumper asked. Jesse drew in a couple harsh breaths.

"Yeah," he answered, his voice cracking. "Sorry, it's just...her **sophomore** year?" Bumper nodded. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"It was bad enough that people here knew. Beca would have died of shame if you had found out. Plus, there was the whole drifting apart thing…" Jesse looked up and saw Beca standing at a booth at the back of the bar, talking with Benji and the new waitress. He stood up quickly.

"I gotta piss," Jesse replied to Bumper's questioning look. Then he turned and marched towards the back, where the restrooms and, more importantly, Beca. As he walked by her he hooked his hand around her arm and drug her away from the conversation she was in the midst of.

"Excuse you!" She cried but her protests died down at the glare he turned on her. He continued marching back until they were at the very back of the bar, just outside the restrooms.

"What time do you get off?" He demanded. She cocked an eyebrow at him.

"When the bar closes," she told him, matter-of-factly.

"Tell your boss that you don't feel well." He ordered.

"Fuck you, why the hell would I do that?"

"You and I need to talk."

"The fuck we do," she spat. "I gotta-"

"I know, Beca," he said, his voice hoarse.

"Know what?" she snapped.

"Becs...I **know** ," he repeated. Jesse watched as understanding crept across her features. She stared at him in shock.

"Give me an hour," she said, turning oh her heal and walking away.


	8. Chapter 8

**_Jesse knows_** , Beca repeated in her mind for the millionth time. **_How...how the hell_** -well, no, she knew the how. Her stupid brother, obviously. The real question was why? Why would he tell Jesse? Why, after all this time?

Beca sighed heavily as she pulled into the parking lot of her apartment complex, her tires crunching on the gravel. She didn't know if she was ready for this conversation. She had spent the better part of the last eleven years trying to forget about it. She pulled into a parking space in front of her building, watching as Jesse parked four spaces down from her.

She briefly considered pulling back out of her parking spot and driving away as fast as she could- ** _And go where?-_** but shook her head, turning the engine off instead and pulling her key from the ignition. There was no use running away from it now.

She opened her door and hopped out of her jeep, watching Jesse walk towards her, his hands shoved into the pockets of his khaki cargo shorts.

"So," he began as he reached her.

"Let's just...get inside before we start this conversation," Beca muttered, locking her car and walking up to the stairs of the unit of her apartment. Jesse followed behind her silently. Together the ascended the creaking metal staircase. When they reached the top, Beca turned to the right, heading to her door, Jesse a few steps behind her. She pulled her keychain out of her satchel, separating the key to her apartment from the rest before slipping it into the lock.

After she unlocked her door and led him inside, closing the door after him, she marched immediately into her kitchen, grabbing a can of beer from her fridge before walking over to sit on the edge of her couch. Jesse followed her example, grabbing a beer for himself and sitting at the other end of the couch. Beca popped the tab of her beer and brought it to her lips, drinking deeply. She heard him pop the tab on his own can but kept her gaze away from him, choosing instead to inspect the blunt nails on her slender fingers.

"Was it mine?" He finally asked.

"Fuck you, Jesse," she spat, still not looking at him.

"Seriously, Beca."

"Yes. Yes, it was yours. You were my first, Jesse. You know that."

"There wasn't," Jesse took a breath. "There wasn't any one **after** me?" She shot him a scathing glare, before closing her eyes and turning away.

"No. I was too **stupidly** in love with you and heart sick that you took my virginity on Friday night and then got back with Ava by Monday morning." She sighed. The silence between them was heavy, nearly crushing. Beca finally opened her eyes and looked over at Jesse and saw him staring down at the beer in his hands.

"Why didn't you tell me?" He asked, his voice breaking. Beca sighed again.

"I...didn't even know until after you left," told him, her voice wavering. "I was too terrified to just call you and tell you over the phone. And then...," Beca took a shuddering breath, her vision blurred as tears gathered. "And then it didn't matter anymore. The baby was gone."

"How?" Beca shrugged.

"It just happens, sometimes. There was no direct cause. The doctor suggested it may have been due to stress."

"Is that why you wouldn't even look at me when I visited?"

"Yes," she whispered.

"God. I'm...Beca, I'm so sorry." Beca wrapped her arms around herself. "You should have told me. I would have-"

"Come back? Said sorry? Been just as miserable and fucked up as I was?" Jesse finally looked up at her, his face looking stricken. She exhaled slowly. "I'm sorry. I just wanted to move on and try to forget that it ever happened."

"Did you? Forget about it?"

"You really think anyone lets you forget something like that in this town?"

"Is that why you hate me so much?"

"I don't hate you, Jesse. It's just...Seeing you reminds me of how much it all hurt."

"I'm sorry," he whispered, wiping at his eyes. "I'm sorry." Beca wiped at her own eyes as a few tears spilled from her lashes. Jesse shook his head, staring down at the can in his hands. She could practically hear him berating himself as he sat there. Beca remember all too clearly doing the same thing to herself, asking how she could be so stupid. She took pity on him, pulling him into her arms. She didn't tell him that everything was fine, because it wasn't, not really, not at that moment. And she didn't bother saying that it was okay, because an apology would never erase what she had gone through. But she held him close, because that was all she could offer as comfort.

she inhaled as she felt his arms wrap around her, fingers digging into her back, his face buried in the crook of her neck. She could feel her breath hitch when she felt his breath puff against her neck. _**Maybe this wasn't such a good idea…**_

* * *

When Beca opened her eyes it was still dark in her bedroom. She blinked a few times, sorting through the fog in her mind, trying to remember how she even made it to her bed. She and Jesse had polished off the beer in her fridge, while he asked more questions about the pregnancy-"Just humor me," was his response to her hesitance-which had then progressed to questions about what her life had been like in Boston, and, finally, her telling him where their high school class mates had ended up-"Remember Sarah Kregg? She swears up and down to anyone who will listen that the two of you had a wild and passionate affair, unbeknownst to the rest of the town."

When the beer was gone, they moved on the bottle of Absolute that she kept in her freezer, for when she felt like getting shitfaced, and she started asking him about how many celebrities he knew and what they were like in real life-"What about Jake Gyllenhall? Is he really that hot in real life?"

"Oh Em Gee, he is, like, **way** hotter," Jesse had teased, using a terribly exaggerated valley girl accent. She had forgotten, over the years, how much she had loved talking and laughing with him when they were young.

Beca groaned, scrubbing her hand over her face. Her head throbbed. Sure, drinking herself into oblivion had seemed like a good idea at the time. However, lying face down, in a rumpled heap on top of her covers, with a bass drum keeping time inside her skull...

"Vodka was a bad idea" Beca grumbled.

"Oh my God, stop shouting." Beca's eyes shot open. She propped herself up on her elbows and looked over at the tangle of blankets next to her. She balanced on one arm and pulled the blankets back to see Jesse, his eyes screwed shut, curled on his side next to her. Beca quickly took stock of her person. Shirt: check. Panties: check. Hell, she still had her bra and jeans on. She sighed in relief.

"Jesse, what are you doing in my bed?" She asked, her voice cracking. Jesse slanted one eye open.

"Sleeping. Stop talking so loud," he groaned. Then he plucked the covers from her hand and pulled them back up to cover his head. Beca had many questions. But she supposed they could wait until she felt less hung-over. She rolled onto her back, trying to ignore how the room seemed to spin, and reached down to the button of her jeans, freeing it quickly before wriggling them down her hips and pulling them off her legs. Jesse groaned next to her, as her wiggling caused the bed to move. "Jesus, stop the moving or I'm gonna barf."

"Gosh, you know just what to say to get me all worked up, Jesse," Beca snorted. He huffed in response. Beca sat up slowly, her stomach rolling and her head swimming, and reached up under her T shirt to unhook her bra before sliding the straps down her arms and then pulling it out from under her shirt. Finally, she pulled her comforter out from underneath her before laying on her side and pulling it over herself and tucking it under her chin. She closed her eyes and fell almost immediately back asleep.

* * *

Beca opened her eyes when she heard a muffled thump. She stared up at the ceiling for a few seconds, trying to clear the sleep and fog from her brain. Another sound reached her ears. ** _Probably just Jared_** , she reasoned. It wasn't uncommon for him to show up at her apartment unannounced. It was part of being an over protective older brother, he assured her. She yawned and arched her back to stretch.

"Beca," a voice called. Definitely Bumper. "Get up, ya lazy ass." Beca groaned in protest ** _. I don't wanna get up yet_** , she thought, groaning. She was still slightly hung over from-

"Oh shit," she cursed throwing herself into a sitting position, clutching her comforter around her torso.

"Hey, get up!" Bumper boomed, throwing her bedroom door open. Jesse sat up in surprise beside Beca.

"Ugh...what the fuck?" Jesse groaned, looking around in confusion. Beca could feel her heart slamming in her chest as she looked from Jesse to her brother, who looked shocked for only half a second before he launched himself at Jesse. Jesse yelped as Bumper yanked him to his feet.

"That's my sister," were the only intelligible words that Beca caught.

"Dude, nothing happened, I swear!" Jesse had his hands up as Bumper held him up by his shirt. "We just passed out, swear to God!"

"Motherfucker-" Bumper began but Jesse cut him off

"Look, would we still be wearing all of our clothing if we done anything?" **_Oh no_** , Beca groaned inwardly, looking back down at herself. "See? Look at us, we still have our clothes on. Show him, Beca!" Bumper slackened his grip on Jesse's shirt slightly. He looked over at Beca. **_Crap_**. She drew the comforter more securely around her.

"Um," she stalled. Jesse shot her a panicked look, finally noticing that Beca was hiding her obviously nude torso "Look-"

"You **Motherfucker!** " Bumper drew back a fist and let it fly.

* * *

"I'm **so** sorry," Beca repeated for the one millionth time as she handed Jesse a pack of frozen green beans. He glared at her as he pressed it gingerly to the left side of his jaw. "Skinny jeans are uncomfortable as fuck to sleep in," she said lamely. "So are bras..."

"And **shirts**?" He added, his voice accusing. Beca flushed.

"Well, I usually only sleep in panties. I guess I was asleep when I took the shirt off." Jesse stared at her, his eyes drifting down Beca's body as she stood before him, wearing a pair of black soffee shorts and a blue tank top. Beca felt her breath quicken at the way his eyes lingered on her.

"How long does it take to get a pack of fucking peas?" Bumper yelled from the living room, breaking the moment between them.

"Green beans," Beca corrected. "Suspicious Fucker."

"Please don't aggravate him again. My appearance is a big part of how I make my living. And being able to walk is the other part." Jesse grumbled, heading back into the living room. Beca chuckled and followed him. They found Bumper glowering at them from where he perched on the arm of the dilapidated couch.

"I'm still waiting for the excuse that explains why I found the two of you here, in various states of undress? 'Cause, last night, I was told by you-" he pointed to Jesse, "that you were tired, and your boss," he pointed to Beca, "said you went home sick."

"For Christ sake, **mom** ," Beca sneered. "If you must know, Jesse and I decided to come back here and hash out our differences. He told me he was sick of me being a bitch to him and I told him that I didn't want to let him back into our lives again if he was just gonna leave and forget about us again. Then we got drunk." Beca saw Jesse regard her with a heavy look, his cheeks flushing. More importantly, she could see her brother begin to settle down, because, really, it was pretty plausible. But she couldn't resist one final barb. "And then I stripped naked and let him fuck me til I screamed. Just ask the neighbors."

The look of terror on Jesse's face was priceless.

* * *

Jesse's jaw was throbbing, second only to the throbbing in his head. And the heat was definitely not helping, as he walked along the sidewalk towards his car. But he still couldn't help smiling after his meeting with the mayor. Not only had Mayor Jeffries been supportive of the idea of Jesse filming his movie in Clear Valley, the man had damn near jumped for joy. He had told Jesse that he would get whatever permits needed for him. With any luck, Jesse could begin filming within the next month. And, depending on the budget, he could have everything done and wrapped up in another two months.

 ** _And then what?_** that voice in the back of his head wondered. **_Back to LA?_** Jesse felt his smile falter. What would he do when he was done with this film? He had only planned to be back in this town for six months, max. And he didn't really have to means to do any post production here. Besides the fact that he had his house in LA. And his Agent. And-

Jesse heard his cell phone beep, alerting him to the text message he received. He pulled his phone out of his pocket, along with his car keys as he stepped up to his car. He pressed the button to unlock the door, opening it and getting inside, starting the car to get the AC blowing, before checking the message on his phone. It was from Bumper-a group message to everyone in the band.

_Got us a gig on May 31st. We will now be having two practices a week until then. Starting tonight._

Jesse stared down at his phone. A gig. A performance in front of an audience. As a musician. Sure, he had performed in choir concerts and had a few roles in musicals in high school. But music was a facet of his talent that he had chosen not to expose when he had started acting. There was something about music, about singing that exposed the actor beneath the role, their true self, that Jesse was never truly comfortable showing.

And now, he would be performing, as himself. In front of people. In about three weeks. Was that nerves churning his stomach? Or left-overs from drinking beer and vodka with Beca while they drowned their sorrows the night before?

Jesse was still staring at his phone when it began to ring. He stared at the number, not recognizing it. He pressed Accept and held the phone up to his ear.

"Hello?"

"Hi! Is this...is this Jesse Swanson?" The voice was female. **_Who is this_**? Jesse wondered.

"Yeah, this is Jesse."

"Jesse, this is Aubrey. Aubrey Posen. I hope you don't mind but I got your number from Steve. I just wanted to call and say that I'm very excited to be working on this project with you." Jesse's jaw dropped in shock.

"Uh, thanks," he replied, shaking his head. "I, uh, I can't believe you actually had the time for it."

"Well, I actually just got done with a project and Mr. Lerman called me to tell me about the script you have and suggested that taking some time to do this project would be beneficial to both of us," Aubrey explained.

"Uh, that's...that's great," Jesse stammered.

"I read through the script and I just love it," she continued. "And I have to say, I'm pretty excited to be working with you. I'm a big fan."

"Uh, thanks." Was she hitting on him?

"Well, I guess I'll let you go, I just really wanted to say how excited I am. I can't wait to see who else you cast in this film. Do you know when you're going to start filming yet?"

"Actually, I was hoping to start in about a month, assuming I can get the other three rolled cast in time," Jesse told her, thinking back to the calls he'd been making over the last two weeks to past cast mates.

"That sounds perfect. Well, I'll be flying in in about two weeks so that you and I can further discuss how you envision the film. I'll see you then!" When she hung up, Jesse pulled the phone away and stared at it. Why did he get the feeling that working with Aubrey was going to feel more like working **for** Aubrey?

His stomach growled. He put his car in gear, looking out his back windshield as he pulled out of the parking spot. Might as well get something to eat.


	9. Chapter 9

"Wait, so you didn't really fuck him?" Benji clarified, grabbing three fries from the basket in the center of the table. Beca shook her head, not releasing the straw of her peach milkshake from between her lips.

"That's a shame," Benji sighed. "You definitely could have done worse."

"Benji!" Beca exclaimed.

"What? Chloe totally agrees with me. She says Hi, by the way," Benji continued.

"You talked to Chloe?" Beca asked, sounding a little jealous. Benji rolled his eyes. He grabbed for more fries.

"I called her last night after I saw you and Jesse leave. Some one had to let Red know what was happening." Beca stared at her milkshake. It was one of those rare days where Beca didn't have a shift at Big D's and the only house she had to clean was Jesse's, which wasn't for another two hours. So she had met Benji on his lunch break at the Burger Joint.

"God, I miss her," she groaned. Her heart ached when she realized that it had been almost twenty four hours since she and Benji had said their goodbyes to her at the airport. And so much happened after she left, Beca groaned.

"Do you ever think about going back to Boston?" Benji asked quietly? Beca looked up at him, noticing how he kept his face carefully impartial. This must be how Chloe and Benji felt when I left, she realized. Beca picked a French fry, looking at it with out really seeing it.

"Honestly...I try not to think about Boston at all," she admitted. "I miss it. I miss complaining about the cold, I miss complaining about the traffic. I miss the way people would laugh at my accent..." Beca trailed off, biting into the fry and glancing back at Benji.

Benjamin Applebaum was one of those rare people who's family moved to Clear Valley-from Austin, Texas when Benji was sixteen-on purpose, because his parents wanted the quaint, small town experience for their children. And the town had been accommodating to his parents and his two sisters, one older and one younger than Benji. But he had not really fit in. Small towns were good at sensing when some one was hiding something, even if they weren't sure what was being hidden, and high school children are cruel in any town.

Beca's first conversation with Benji was when she had found him hiding out in the empty music room, with a bruising eye and a bloodied nose.

"Are you okay?" Beca asked cautiously. Benji had stared at her suspiciously, wiping at the blood that dripped onto his chin.

"I'm fine," he'd replied tersely, turning away from her.

"I have some tissues in my backpack," she told him, earning her another suspicious once over. "I'm Beca," she introduced herself, digging into her back pack. "I'm the girl that everyone whispers about being a huge slut. Apparently, I've had sex with the entire basket ball team." She held the tissues out to him.

"I'm...Benjamin Applebaum," he said finally, reaching for the tissues. "I got beat up today because of my T shirt." Beca looked down to see that he wore a black shirt with yellow letters spelling "Star Wars" across the front. Beca shook her head, looking back up at Benji's ruined face.

"Are you sure you didn't get beat up because your name name is ridiculous?" Benji snorted, a smile tugging at his lips. "You wanna ditch class with me and go hang out at my house? No one is home, this time of day."

"Yes," he had said, his voice sounding watery. "Please take me out of this hell hole." They had been inseparable since.

"But do you ever think about going back?" He pressed, bringing her back to the present. She smiled at him softly.

"I'm home, Benjamin Applebaum. I'm not going anywhere. Besides, some one has to look after you." Benji pursed his lips, snatching her milkshake from her hands.

"Yes, but who is gonna take care of you?" He took a sip from her straw.

"I don't need any one to take care of me," she grumbled, watching to make sure he didn't drink too much of her milkshake.

"So far, I haven't had any one apply for the job," Beca muttered. Benji shook his head, sliding the cup across the table to Beca.

"Well, I suggest you hire Jesse for the job," Benji told her matter of factly. Beca snorted.

"Why?"

"He's hot, he's got money, and that boy's jeans are like milk." Beca stared at him in confusion.

"Like milk?"

"They do his body good," Benji elaborated, winking. Beca laughed.

"Jesus, Benji, you're ridiculous!"

"When are you gonna see him again?"

Suddenly, both Beca's and Benji's phones beeped. The both reached for their phones, seeing that they received a text from Bumper.

_Got us a gig on May 21st. We will now be having two practices a week until then. Starting tonight._

"Guess that answers that question," Benji chuckled. Beca shook her head.

"I'll probably see him sooner than that," she sighed, reaching for her milkshake. "I clean his house at 2:30."

"You're not going to wear that over to clean his house, are you?" Benji asked, raising his eyebrows.

"Why? What's wrong with what I'm wearing?" Beca asked, looking down at herself.

"BecaLee, a ratty band t shirt and those homely boy shorts?"

"What about them?"

"Beca, I thought Chloe and I got you through your tomboy stage."

"Ugh, look he's already seen me totally hung over and half naked."

"So, let's wear something that doesn't remind him that you look like a drowned Papillion after an all night bender."

"I hate you."

* * *

Beca looked up at the sky as she pulled up in front of Jesse's house. The sky had started out clear that morning but was now filled with thick, broiling cumulus clouds. She turned and looked to the west, seeing the darker clouds that were rolling in.

"Well, that looks like one hell of a storm rolling in," she muttered. She opened her door, hopping out and, after shutting the door behind her, walked around to the rear passenger side of her jeep to get her cleaning supplies. As she shut the door with her hip she looked to see Jesse's car pull up behind her jeep. She started up the path to the house, not waiting for him to get out of the car.

"Beca, hey, wait, let me open the door for you," Jesse called as he jumped out of his car. Beca swiveled her head to watch him race up to her as she walked the steps to the porch. Beca took in his appearance as he jumped up the stairs to come stand behind her. She arched an eyebrow as she noted his crisp grey button down shirt with a thin black tie and dark jeans.

"And where have you been, all gussied up like that?" She asked him, teasing him to hide the fact that she had just been ogling him as he came to stand next to her. Jesse reached into his pocket, extracting his keys as he smiled at her.

"Oh, just a little meeting with the mayor," he answered, unlocking the door and holding it open for her. Beca shook her head as she stepped over the threshold.

"Does he wanna give you the keys to the city for managing to bring tourists into the city?" she joked as she headed for the kitchen.

"Something like that," she heard him say quietly. "I'm gonna take a shower and change really quick." She heard him start up the stairs as she walked into the kitchen, setting her supplies onto the table.

Beca clucked her tongue as she looked around the kitchen. **_Jesus, how does he live like this?_** There was a plate with his breakfast half eaten still on the table, as well as a week's worth of dishes in the sink. She picked up the plate on the table, walking over to the trashcan to scrape remnants of scrambled eggs and bacon into it before depositing the plate into the sink. She walked back over to the table reaching for her basket when she noticed the papers strewn all across the table.

 ** _A script_**? She looked more closely. ** _It's a screenplay..._** She could see Notes scribbled all in the margins in Jesse's messy handwriting. She picked up a few pages, reading some of the hastily scrawled words. **_Blocking ideas, camera angle possibilities...filming locations?_** Beca saw that Jesse had written Big D's as a possible location. **_Wait, is Jesse going to be filming this...here? Is that why he came back? Why didn't he say anything?_**

As she continued looking through the pages on the table she heard Jesse walking down the stairs. She set the pages back down on the table, looking up as he walked into the kitchen. She opened her mouth to ask about the script but found the words stuck in her throat as she stared at him. Jesse stood before her in a green T shirt that simply said Brooklyn across the front and a pair of baggy sweat pants that hung low on his hips as he rubbed a towel over his wet hair ** _. If Benji thought he looked good in jeans he would probably start drooling right about now_**... The cotton of his shirt and sweat pants clung to him in ways that had her heart racing, hinting at the muscle beneath. She'd seen him naked before, obviously, and she remembered what he looked like-and he'd looked good then, too-but he'd still been a boy at eighteen. Beca found herself longing to know what he looked like now that he was all grown up...

"Your mouth is open," Jesse told her, smiling at her. Beca shut her mouth immediately, still staring. "What?"

"Uh, your hair," she said quickly. He quirked an eyebrow at her.

"What about my hair?"

"It's still curly."

"What?"

"You...you've had product in your hair every time I've seen you. Do they have something against curly hair in Hollywood?"

"Oh. Well...I just...this is just the way my hair usually gets styled so..."

"I think you look better with those stupid Jew curls," Beca said, grabbing her rubber gloves and walking over to the sink. "What else do they make you change about yourself?"

"They don't make you change yourself," Jesse said pointedly.

"Sure about that?" She called over her shoulder as she turned on the faucet.

"What about **you**?" Jesse countered. Beca turned the faucet off and turned back to face Jesse and he walked over to a chair and sat down.

"What's **that** supposed to mean?" Beca asked him.

"What is it you're trying to prove with all of the tattoos and piercings?"

"Nothing. I'm simply decorating my temple," Beca answered, gesturing to herself.

"You're not afraid that you'll change your mind?" Jesse asked.

"No. Why don't you get a couple? Plenty of actors have them now."

"I can't be buried in a Jewish cemetery if I have tattoos," Jesse pointed out.

"I'm sorry, didn't you have **bacon** with your eggs this morning?" Beca countered.

"Do you ever get nervous walking outside if there is lightning?" Beca scoffed at his question.

"Do you ever regret your first kiss being with your third cousin?"

"Oh, what the fuck? I was **seven**! That doesn't even count!" Jesse cried.

"Oh, it counts!" Beca laughed.

"Oh yeah? Well, who was **your** first kiss?" Jesse shot back. Beca's face flushed bright red and she turned around to turn the faucet on once more. "Oh come on, you know about mine, it can't be worse than that."

"You were," Beca grumbled.

"Wait, what?"

"You were the only boy that Bumper ever let near me wit out threatening bodily harm. So...that night...was my first everything."

"Wow...I don't even-" Jesse's voice was drowned out by a deafening clap of thunder. Beca actually jumped, yelping at the sound. "Fuck, that was loud."

"Really? I hadn't noticed," Beca grouched. She looked back over at Jesse. He was watching her. Beca inhaled, turning the faucet off and turning herself around to lean back against the counter. "So, when were you going to mention that you came back here to film a movie?"

"How did you-" Beca pointed to the table. Jesse's eyes followed the direction of her pointed finger, seeing his note-scribbled screenplay strewn on the table top. "Oh. Well, I...I wasn't even sure it would happen until today," he admitted. Another clap of thunder sounded, this time not so loud, and Jesse heard the rain begin to fall outside. He cast his eyes over to the window above the sink, seeing that it was nearly dark as night outside, even though it was midday. The rain was coming down in sheets, soaking everything.

"So, when is this circus going to start?" Beca asked, calling his attention away from the window. Jesse drew in a breath before answering.

"In a month."

"Who's directing it?"

"I am."

"You?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"I just...needed to try something different."

"Is that why you joined my band? To try something different?"

"No, that was all Bumper's idea. I just...went along with it."

"Why film here?"

"Because it takes place in a small town."

"Jesse, Clear Valley is not the only small town. I'm sure California has tons. Hell, I bet they could build a set for this inside a freaking studio." Jesse looked down at his hands.

"I...needed to get away from California for a while."

"You're still not answering my question; why here?"

"Why does it matter, Beca?" Beca stared at Jesse for a couple beats, her dark blue watching him as he studied his hands.

"It just does," she told him finally. "I mean, it's not like Jared and I thought you came back here because you missed us. Honestly, after your last two movies no one was really surprised that you would come here to hide out."

"Jesus, thanks, Beca," Jesse snapped, standing up from his chair to walk over to the fridge. He opened the white door and retrieved a bottle of water from within. He kept his back to her as he shut the fridge and opened the water bottle. Beca rolled her eyes.

"Oh for Christ's sakes, Jesse," Beca cried, as he drank from the bottle. "So you made two shitty movies. It's not the end of the world. I don't freak out when I write a bad song. I just write another one and get over it."

"Yeah, well, maybe it's not that easy," Jesse argued, turning and walking to stand in front of her.

"I think you **make** it not so easy," Beca muttered, rolling her eyes.

"Look-" Jesse began. As he opened his mouth to continue there was another boom of thunder. The house was suddenly plunged into darkness. "What the hell?"

"Great. Just great," Beca grumbled. "Do you have any candles?" She stared at Jesse, the only light coming from the window. He stared back at her.

"I have no clue," he told her.

"You didn't check when you got here?"

"Why the hell would I?" Jesse cried in defense.

Beca wasn't sure why she did it. There was no conscious decision, no process of thinking that lead to it. One moment she was rolling her eyes at Jesse's excuse and the next moment she was rolling up onto the balls of her feet, closing her eyes and pressing her lips to his. The kiss was chaste and over as soon as it started.

Jesse stepped back immediately, pulling away from her and staring at her in shock. And Beca suddenly felt like she was sixteen again, walking to third period history, and stumbling upon Jesse wrapped in the arms of Ava, just days after giving her virginity to him.

Beca bolted from the kitchen, her chuck taylors pounding on the hardwood floor as she ran through the house, pausing only to yank the front door open. She was soaked the second she jumped off the porch, running for her car. Beca hurriedly yanked her keys out of her pocket, throwing open the door of the jeep, jumping inside, and jammed them into the ignition. She turned the engine over, hearing it roar to life...before sputtering and dying.

"No!" She cried. "Nonono! Not right **now**!" Beca tried to start the car again but it didn't even start. "You have got to be fucking **kidding** me." She rested her forehead on the top rim of the steering wheel. **_Now what?_** She asked herself. **_I'm stuck._** She glanced over at Jesse's house, it was barely visible through the pouring rain. She pulled her phone out, checking her weather app. The storm is just going to get worse, she realized, looking at the forecast. She pressed number three on her speed dial. **_Come on, Benji, pick up..._** but it went to voice mail. ** _I can't just sit in my car..._**

"Ugh..." Beca glanced at her reflection in her rear view mirror. Her hair was drenched, hanging around her face in wet tangles, and her clothes clung to her like a second skin ** _. I left my cleaning basket in there_** , she realized. "God damnit," she groaned. She threw her door open, taking a deep breath before hopping out. She slammed the door shut, shoving her keys back into her pocket.

The rain was freezing, she realized as she jogged back up to the porch. She paused when she got back on the porch, staring at the front door ** _. Maybe this is a bad idea...It wouldn't be so bad to just sit in my car and hope Benji calls back_**. As she glanced back at her car, she heard the door open behind her.

"Beca," Jesse called her name in relief. She turned back to face him. He had a jacket on and his keys were in his hand. **_Was he coming after me?_** "I thought you left."

"My car just died," she muttered, defeated. She stared down at her sopping wet shoes. **_How pathetic I must look_** , she whined. She shook her head, sighing dejectedly. When she felt his hands on her shoulders she looked up in surprise. Jesse stood before her, staring down at her. His brown eyes were boring into her with lazer focus.

"Come on," he murmured, pulling her with him as he stepped back through the door. She let him lead her over the threshold, stepping back into the darkened house. He shut the door softly behind her.

"I can probably call Jared to come and get me," Beca said lamely, staring at her shoes once more. "I'll just-"

Jesse's hands cupping her face silenced her, tilting her head up to look at him. He kissed her then, claiming her lips with a kiss that seared her straight through to her soul.


	10. Chapter 10

He slid both hands to tangle in her hair, licking his tongue against the seam of her lips. Beca opened her mouth to him and his tongue dipped into her, deepening the kiss. She raised her hands to grasp at his shirt, flicking her own tongue against his. Jesse pulled back after a few moments, staring directly into her eyes.

"You realize, of course, that your brother will murder me for having kissed you," he said seriously. Beca smiled.

"Well then, I guess you better make it worth it." The next kiss was fierce, taking Beca's breath away. Beca felt Jesse yanking her wet shirt up and she released his mouth so that he could pull it over her head and toss it onto the floor. She pushed his jacket off of his shoulders to fall to the ground behind him, yanking his shirt up next. He raised his arms up to pull at it from the top, pulling it up over his raised arms. Beca took advantage of having her hands free to run them over the planes of his chest and the dips and ridges of the muscles of his abdomen. She pressed wet kisses to his chest, feeling his hands descend to her back, fumbling for only a second with the clasp of her bra before unhooking it. He pulled the straps down her shoulders and Beca pulled it from her, tossing it to the side.

She stood, topless in the semi darkness of the foyer, her arms crossed in front of herself. Jesse stepped forward and kissed her again, pulling her arms away from her breasts and sliding his hands up her stomach to cup breasts with a low groan. She whimpered into his mouth as he squeezed her soft flesh, gasping as Jesse brushed his thumbs across her nipples. He stopped suddenly, pulling his mouth from hers.

"What the...are your nipples **pierced**?" He asked in shock. Beca blushed, thankful for the darkness.

"Uh...yeah...Benji, Chloe, and I got our nipples pierced together when we graduated high school," she laughed breathily. Jesse stared down at her breasts. "Is that a problem?"

"No," he breathed. "Actually... It's fucking **sexy**...do they-"

"No, they don't hurt," Beca answered, anticipating his question. "But they are sensitive." She could see Jesse's smirk through the dark and it sent a shot straight to her core. He brushed his thumbs across her nipples again and she moaned. He chuckled before dipping his head to flick his tongue against the nipple of her right breast. She threaded her hands through his hair, moaning breathily. Jesse switched to the other breast and Beca could feel her self beginning to tremble under his attention. She pulled his face back up to his, groaning into his kiss, her hands tracing a burning path to the hem of his sweat pants. As she traced the pads of her fingers along the warm skin above his waistband she felt his own hands working at unbuttoning her shorts, freeing the button quickly and pulling the zipper down. She moved her hands to push her shorts down over her hips, he batted her hands away. She felt him begin pushing her back and Beca stepped back to keep from toppling over, continuing unto her butt hit into the edge of the table in the middle of the foyer.

Jesse's hands where at her hips again, pushing her shorts down, kneeling before her to pull them down her legs, pulling her shoes and socks off as well. Beca stared down at him as he brought his hands back to her hips, gripping her and lifting her up and back. She took the hint, helping him lift her up onto the table.

A flash of lightning lit the foyer, illuminating Jesse in sharp contrast and his stare as he gazed up at her from between her knees was burned into Beca's retina's, sending a bolt of heat to her center.

Jesse placed a kiss to the inside of her knee, nipping slightly, and Beca felt her breath catch in her chest. He followed that kiss with another on the opposite leg, followed by another and another. He moved higher up her thighs with each wet kiss, and Beca could feel her nerves sparking, igniting each time he moved closer and closer to her core. She whined when he skipped over her center, nipping at the bell of her hip and suckling the curve of her waist.

"Impatient," he chuckled as he took a nipple into her mouth. Beca glared down at him.

"Tease," she shot back. Jesse pulled away from her breast to capture her mouth.

"You talk too much," he said between kisses. Beca pulled her head back to retort but her words caught in her throat when she felt a finger swipe through her arousal. "You seem to be enjoying yourself," he teased, noting just how wet she was. Beca bit her bottom lip as his finger caught against her clit momentarily. She let her head fall back onto her shoulders, her eyes drifting shut as he strummed against that bundle of nerves again. And then, his finger was gone from her center. Beca's head snapped up and she looked back at Jesse. She watched as he brought two fingers up to his mouth, staring into her eyes as he sucked them into his mouth momentarily, getting them coated with his saliva. Beca watched as he took those same fingers and placed them at the apex of her thighs, sliding them inside her with no preamble. Her eyes closed as she gasped in pleasure.

"Fuck," she sighed.

"Jesus, you're fucking tight," Jesse groaned, resting his forehead against hers as he thrust his fingers into her. Beca's mouth was open as she panted. It felt amazing. But she wanted more. She may have let him take the lead her first time, and she may have enjoyed the sweetness back then. But Beca was no longer a sweet girl, and she didn't need to be treated as such.

Beca brought her hands to Jesse's face, pulling his mouth to hers so that she could capture them in a fierce kiss. He grunted when she nipped at his tongue when he dipped it into her mouth. She slid her hands into his hair, gripping the still damp curls and pulling hard enough to tip his head back.

Beca turned her attention to his throat, running her tongue up from his clavicle to just below his ear, scraping her teeth across the sensitive skin there. She took one hand, releasing his hair, and trailed it down to his chest. Jesse gasped when she pinched his nipple, making Beca laugh against his throat.

"Are you having fun?" Jesse panted, curling his fingers inside her so that she saw stars. Beca moaned loudly. She dropped her hand down to grasp at him through his sweatpants.

"Are you?" She countered, squeezing his erection through the cotton covering it.

"Fuck," he hissed. Beca let go of his hair and pushed him back, scooting herself off the table to stand in front of him. She kissed his lips briefly before bringing her mouth down to kiss his chest, biting a nipple and immediately soothing it with her tongue before kissing a burning trail down his abdomen, lowering herself to kneel before him.

She looked up at Jesse, just barely making his face out through the dark to see him staring at her, his mouth hanging open slightly.

She smirked up at him, hooking her slender fingers into his waistband, pulling them down his legs, licking her tongue at the V shaped dip in his muscles. As soon as his erection was freed, Beca grasped it with one hand as the other continued pulling his sweatpants down. He stepped out of them and kicked them out of the way. She tightened her grip around him, stroking her hand along his length, smiling at the groan he made when she did so. She moved her face closer, her tongue darting out to swipe at the tip of him. Jesse gasped and Beca repeated the move before parting her lips to take him into her mouth as far as she could. She curled her tongue to press against the underside of his erection as she moved her head up and down his length. His hands moved her head, his fingers grasping her wet tangles, guiding her movements. He was panting and groaning and Beca swirled her tongue over the tip with each upward stroke and hummed around him with each downward turn.

"Fuck, Becs," Jesse pulled her off, breathing heavily. "This is going to be over far too quickly if you keep doing that."

"That's a shame," she teased, licking his tip and earning a strangled moan. Jesse retaliated by grasping her under her arms, lifting her to her feet, capturing her lips with his as he steered her backward until her back met the wall. Jesse kissed her savagely, taking her breath away. Beca felt his hands grip her breasts briefly before sliding down to grip her ass and pulling her flush against him. She couldn't help but draw in a sharp breath as he hooked his hands under her thighs, lifting her up and wrapping her legs around his hips. Beca looped her arms around his neck and leaned her shoulders back against the wall to help Jesse keep his balance. She looked straight into his eyes as she felt one of his hands between them, teasing at her center. She moaned when his fingers slid into her once more.

"Please, Jesse, I need more than your fingers," she panted.

She pulled him closer to kiss him again, gently this time. She could feel Jesse lining himself up with her entrance and she released his mouth, exhaling as he slid into her, filling her. He paused then, buried to the hilt within her, feeling her all around him. He met her hooded gaze with his own as he withdrew slowly. Beca's bottom lip was caught between her teeth as she stared at him. When he pushed back into her eyelids fluttered closed. Jesse continued that way until she opened her eyes again to stare at him.

"You don't have to be gentle," she told him, her voice sounding breathless. "I'm not a virgin this time, Jesse." Jesse smirked at her.

"Yes, ma'am." He withdrew again, shifting his grip from her thighs to her ass, before thrusting into her forcefully. Beca's eyes rolled back as she moaned loudly. Jesse set a hard pace then, driving into her with such force that Beca could barely contain her moans.

"Fuck!" She gasped, feeling herself edge closer to orgasm. Jesse took a hand and brought it up to Beca's mouth. She parted her lips, allowing him to slide two fingers into her mouth, wetting them with her tongue. When his fingers were coated with her saliva he took them from her mouth and slid them against down to her clit, strumming against that button. Beca keened loudly falling over the edge of her bliss. Jesse continued his onslaught, driving into her and rubbing her clit spurring her into another orgasm almost immediately, the muscles in her thighs trembling and shaking. Beca grit her teeth, her ears ringing and her body buzzing with her pleasure. Distantly she could hear Jesse grunting and gasping. He took his hand away from where they were joined to grasp her thigh, lifting her up so that he withdrew completely from her just in time for his own orgasm, his release splashing into her stomach.

Jesse leaned heavily into Beca, panting for breath. Beca was sure she sounded the same as she leaned her head back against the wall. "Are you good to stand?" He asked next to her ear.

"I think so." She felt Jesse step back and she unwrapped her legs from his hips, lowering her feet to the floor. Her legs were shaky but stable enough to stand on her own. She looked down at herself. "Uh..."

"What?"

"You got something I can clean up with?" She looked up to see him staring at her.

"Yeah, hold on." His voice is gravelly and, if Beca was honest, it made her want him to ravage her again. **_Down girl_** , she told herself. **_Jared will know something is up if you come hobbling into band practice like you've got saddle burn_**. She watched Jesse walk into the darkened hall, listening to his footsteps on the floor. She looked at the floor, not sure which shapeless piles of clothing were hers and which were his. Well, mine will be the wet stuff, obviously. She looked up when she heard footsteps coming towards her.

"Here," Jesse said, holding out a handful of tissues. Beca took them from him and began wiping at the mess on her stomach.

"Blech," Beca grunted as she cleaned herself up.

"Well, I didn't have a condom," Jesse pointed out, watching her.

"I'm on birth control."

"Because I would know that." Beca looked up at his sarcastic tone.

"You could have asked."

"I was sort of preoccupied."

"Funny how that keeps happening to you." There was a loud hum, immediately followed by the lights flickering and coming back to life. Beca yelped, snatching the closest dry article of clothing-which turned out to be Jesse's T shirt-and covering herself with it. She glared at Jesse when he laughed at her.

"For crying out loud, Beca. I have seen you naked before."

"Not with the lights on," she argued. "Besides, I've seen pictures of your ex. I don't exactly measure up." Jesse shook his head, stooping over to pick up his sweatpants and pull them up onto his hips. Beca tried hard not to stare. Jesse's body had definitely gotten better with age. She watched the muscles move beneath his skin.

"You have nothing to complain about," he chuckled, breaking into her thoughts. "Besides, I was kinda hoping to see those nipple piercings in the light." Beca blushed deeply, not knowing how to respond.

"Would you mind if I dried my clothes?" she asked, changing the subject.

"Go ahead."

"Do you have any pants I can borrow?"

"I'll go get some gym shorts. Maybe, if you roll the waistband they'll fit." Jesse headed towards the stairs.

"Great. Hey, Jesse?" Beca called. Jesse paused at the bottom step. She shifted her weight from one foot to the other. "Don't tell anyone about this. I just...don't wanna deal with all the gossip. Plus, Jared would kill you." Jesse stared at her, his face unreadable.

"Of course," he agreed slowly. "I mean, it's not like it really meant anything." Beca felt her heart stop. She watched him as he turned and walked up the staircase, leaving her staring after him, feeling once again like she was thrust back into that terrible Monday morning.


	11. Chapter 11

"Stupid. So stupid," Beca grumbled over and over as she walked barefoot down the street. All things considered, she was making good time. She was already a block and a half away from Jesse's house. She would have made it further but she had taken a couple of detours to make sure Jesse wasn't able to catch up to her.

As soon as Jesse had disappeared into the bedroom, Beca had pulled her bra and panties back on, along with her shorts, hissing at the chill they brought to her skin and cursing at how damp they still were. She had thrown Jesse's shirt on, because hers was just ridiculously wet and cold, so she carried it and her shoes and socks in her hands and marched across the foyer, opened the door and walked resolutely out of the house, off the porch, and down the road as fast as she could on her bare feet.

"Didn't mean anything. Who fucking says that?" She looked up when she heard a car splashing down the road behind her and sighed when she saw Benji's crappy Toyota heading for her. She stepped off of the road and waited for him to pull up to her. She had called him the second her foot had stepped off Jesse's porch, praising all that was holy that Benji had answered.

"So...," Benji began as Beca yanked his door open and flopped down into his passenger seat, tossing her shoes, socks, and wet T shirt into the backseat. "Are you gonna explain to me why I had to tell my boss there was a family emergency right in the middle of rotating the tires of Mrs. Baker's hideous green Cadillac? And why I am picking you up on this side of town? And why you are wearing someone else's shirt?" Beca closed the car door and sighed loudly. She looked over at Benji, who hadn't changed out of his oil stained coveralls.

"Jesse and I had sex," she stated. Benji stared at her expectantly.

"Yeah, you're gonna have to do better than that." Beca scrubbed her hands over her face, trying to exhale her frustrations.

"I kissed him and then freaked out and tried to run away but my car died. Right in front of his house. It was pouring and you didn't answer your phone...so I went back inside Jesse's house."

"And?"

"And we had sex."

" **And**?"

"And it was amazing. But after..." Beca hesitated. "I told him I didn't want anyone to know what had just happened. I mean, it all just kind of happened and you know how gossip spreads in this damn town..."

"BecaLee, you didn't!" Benji chided, turning to face her better. Beca glared at him, crossing her arms petulantly.

"Well, it doesn't matter anyways, because he said that it didn't mean anything." Beca huffed, looking out the window.

"He didn't!"

"He did," Beca confirmed, shaking her head.

"Ugh! Who fucking says that?"

"Right?" Beca cried, turning back to him. Benji fixed her with narrowed eyes.

"That goes for what you said too, Moron."

"Oh for Christ's sake. What do you think will happen when people find out, Benji? I still get shit about what happened in high school. Imagine what people will say if they found out we had sex. Besides, Jared knows I was head over heals in love with Jesse when I was a kid. He's not stupid. Eventually he will realize that Jesse was the one who got me pregnant."

"Jesse? Are you fucking **kidding** me? It was **Jesse**? Does Chloe know?"

"No. Actually, you're the second person to ever find out."

"Who was the first?"

"Jesse. Last night."

"And he said that shit to you today?" Beca nodded. "Oh hell no. Come on, Rebecca Lee Mitchell, we are gonna get you cleaned up and dressed for band practice. And then you're gonna take that torch you've been carrying around for Jesse Swanson, you're gonna clobber him over the fucking head with it."

* * *

Jesse had known the very minute that Beca had stopped looking at him as just her brother's best friend. Of course he had, he'd known Beca since she was three. He could tell what her emotions were by just glancing at her. And he had watched the change in her feelings towards him one evening in late August, two weeks after Beca has started her freshman year of high school.

It was a Friday night, around nine o'clock and Jesse had shown up on the front step supporting a half conscious Bumper. Both boys were bruised and bloodied, but Bumper has gotten it much worse, prompting their grandmother to rush him to the emergency room, leaving Jesse in Beca's hands.

After shaking her head she had grabbed his hand and lead him to the bathroom to start cleaning him up.

"Why on earth would you and Jared think it was a good idea to get into a fight with four guys on the football team?" She had asked, dabbing an alcohol soaked cotton ball to the cut at the corner of his left eye.

"Just to be clear, it was not our intention to get out asses handed to us by part of the defensive line," Jesse told her, his words slightly garbled from his busted top lip. Beca stared straight into his eyes with a skeptical look. "Seriously. Those guys were making fun of everyone at the party. And Bumper and I were just ignoring them-"

"This is ignoring them?" Beca interrupted, gesturing to Jesse's face. Jesse huffed in annoyance.

"No," he continued, glaring at her. "This is what happens when Bumper and I overhear them talking about the new freshman girls and your name, followed by a lewd sexual act, happened to be mentioned." Beca had stared at him, mouth open in disbelief.

"You...and my brother got your butts kicked because of me?" Jesse felt his cheeks flush.

"Uh...yeah."

"You're both morons." She had rolled her eyes, but Jesse had seen the blush on her cheeks and the smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. And for the rest of the night, every time their eyes would meet she would smile shyly and the blush would return. And later that night, as he lay in bed thinking about Beca's blushing face-and how it made his heart race-and the things those boys had said-and how angry the very thought of someone doing **that** to Beca made him feel...Jesse realized that he had begun to look at her differently too.

But Beca Mitchell had a peculiar way of making Jesse Swanson feel stupid. Stupidly mad. Stupidly happy. Stupidly jealous. Or, like right now, right in the middle of enjoying the afterglow of sex, stupidly embarrassed. Was it really so awful that they had sex? Would it be that terrible if people found out? And why in God's name had Jesse said that it hadn't meant anything anyway? ** _Because you're stupid!_** he yelled in his mind as he walked up the stairs. Jesse could feel her eyes on him and with each step he took he felt more...stupid.

He'd felt this stupid only once before, that night back in high school when he and Beca had snuck away from his going away party. After they had finished having sex, Beca had dressed herself and told Jesse to come down ten minutes after her.

"That way no one will guess what just happened," she had told him.

As Jesse walked into the master bedroom he sighed and shook his head. He could lie to himself, he supposed as he crossed to the antique bureau, and say that it was better this way. He'd be gone in a few months, after he wrapped the movie, and to start something with anyone would be ridiculous... Hell, he'd told himself the same lie in high school. And he'd nearly believed it by the time he moved with his mother.

He pulled a drawer open, rifling through its contents to find a pair of gym shorts that could possibly fit Beca's smaller waist...her waist, which fit perfectly in his hands, and her thighs that-

"Why the fuck am I still up here?" Jesse asked himself. He should be running downstairs and explaining to Beca that he was a moron, and he didn't mean what he said and, in fact, he had been in love with Beca since he was seventeen. Jesse launched himself away from the bureau, turning quickly and marched out of the bedroom.

"Beca, look, I'm sorry," he called out nearly running for the stairs. "I don't mean that. It **did** mean something. I know you probably don't believe me but I-" Jesse froze as he reached the top of the stairs. Beca was gone, her wet clothes, her shoes no longer lay strewn about the foyer...she was gone. "Fuck."


	12. Chapter 12

Beca sighed in frustration as she tuned her guitar for the next song. She glanced down at herself discreetly, cursing her 'best friend' and the ground on which he walked.

It been damn near war between her and Benji to get her into the nearly Daisy Dukes short cut off jean shorts and the 'improved' band T shirt that Chloe had once gotten her hands-and scissors-on in a fit of Feeling Crafty, and it had left both Beca and Benji in a surly mood.

To say nothing of the sass they gave each other over her hair and makeup. Benji had steered her to her vanity, saying, "Okay, do your makeup, but don't lay the eyeliner on so thick like you usually do. And make your hair do that curly thing that it does sometimes." Beca stared at him with narrowed eyes.

"Aren't you supposed to be the one doing that for me? What kind of gay best friend are you if you can't do my hair and make up for me?"

"Ugh, rude. Just because I'm gay doesn't mean I know how to do hair or make up. Do I need to remind you that, as a woman, it's a crime that you can't even make grilled cheese sandwiches without catching your stove on fire?"

Beca blew a lock of curly hair out of her face with an annoyed puff of breath. She strummed the strings to test the sound and decided to tweak the strings just a bit more.

"Jesus, are you tuned yet?" Bumper grumbled. Beca flipped him off without even looking at him. She strummed again and found the sound to her liking. "God, **finally**. Maybe if your shirt wasn't so damn tight you wouldn't be so damn distracted and you could actually tune your damn guitar." Beca whipped her head around to glare first at Bumper and then at Benji. She had told him that Bumper would give her hell for dressing provocatively.

"Wanna trade, Bumper? You're tits would look just as awesome as mine in this shirt."

"Maybe we **should** trade," Bumper said evenly.

"Now that, I'd like to see," Jake laughed as he twirled one of his drumsticks.

"How 'bout I just take the damn thing off?" Beca continued. " It's kinda hot, anyways. I think I'd be much more comfortable without it. What do you think?"

"I think we need a break for a few minutes," Jake interjected, standing up from behind his drum kit. He dropped his sticks onto his snare drum. "I got a cooler full of cold beers in my truck. Any one want some?"

"God, yes," Beca sighed. She had never wanted practice to end so badly as she did in that moment. So far, this had felt like the longest practice ever. And it had only started twenty minutes ago. She picked absently at the strings of her guitar, making up a melody as she went to ease her frazzled nerves. She watched Bumper and Jake walk out of the unit to go fetch the cooler of beer.

"You working on a new piece?" Benji asked, wandering near her. They hadn't spoken much after trading more snotty barbs in his car on their way to practice. She glanced up at him.

"Yeah… It's called 'I'm a ridiculous bitch and I'm sorry for what I said earlier'," she answered quietly. She looked up at him and watched him roll his eyes.

"Apology accepted." Beca smiled at him.

"I'd hug you, but I'm afraid of this tight fucking shirt ripping if I move too much," she added, smiling. Benji laughed. He leaned closer and spoke with a low voice.

"If it makes you feel any better, he stares at you when you're not paying attention." **_Well...kinda, yeah_** , she thought, but she said nothing. She slid her eyes past Benji to peak over at the source of her frustration.

Apparently, Jesse had the exact same idea as Benji: Come to band practice looking as sexy as possible. Except that Jesse brought his A game. And Beca was sitting on a reluctant C. She sighed, glancing down briefly at the, apparently, controversial shirt she wore.

Chloe had cut off the sleeves and the collar before attacking the back of the back of the shirt. She cut four horizontal lines before snipping up the center of the back of the shirt, making it so that Beca would have to tie each piece of the slashed fabric in four separate knots down her back.

It wasn't like her shirt was showing cleavage or a ridiculous amount of skin, except for the back. But the shirt was tighter than she normally wore, hugging the curves of her waist and accentuating the magic of the red push up bra Benji had insisted she wear beneath. It was certainly not what Beca normally chose to wear and she found herself feeling awkward and unsure of how to stand or move.

Jesse had apparently taken her sentiment about his hair to heart. It wasn't carefully coiffed, like usual, but a messy disarray of short waves and half curls, which suited the wife beater and torn up jeans he was wearing just fine. Sure, Jesse made a suit and tie look sexy but...this disheveled look was...

"Jesus, it's fucking hot," Bumper swore as he and Jake returned, the cooler being carried between them. Beca tore her eyes away from Jesse as he stood, looking over the sheets of lyrics for the songs the band was working on. Jake and Bumper set the cooler down and popped the top up, reaching to grab a beer.

" **Please** toss me one," Beca begged eagerly. Even though it was done raining for the day, the humidity still hung heavily in the air, weighing on everything. Mixed with Beca's nerves, it left her feeling parched. Plus, she could use some liquid stress reliever.

She watched Bumper grab a can before tossing it through the air to her. She caught it easily and popped the tab in one swift motion, bringing it to her lips for a deep draw. It was fizzy and cold and Beca groaned in satisfaction as filled her mouth slid down her throat in a cool wave. When she'd drank enough she took the cold can and placed it to her left temple and then to her chest, relishing the way the cold condensation on the can left her skin prickling against the heat. She sighed, her eyes closing momentarily. When she opened them again she found herself staring straight at Jesse who was watching her with wide eyes. Beca felt her cheeks heat up with embarrassment.

"You gonna molest that can some more, Beca?" Bumper laughed, calling her attention away from Jesse. Beca turned a baleful glare towards her brother.

"Afraid your friends are enjoying the show?" She shot back, annoyed at him for calling her out. She stuck her tongue out at him before reluctantly set her beer down, after one more satisfying sip, atop the closest amp. From the corner of her vision she watched as Jesse reached into the cooler, grabbing a beer for himself, shaking it slightly to knock the ice off of it. As he popped the tab, the liquid inside bubbled up over the mouth of the can, splashing up onto his fingers. He looked straight at her then, obviously aware that she was watching him, his gaze hooded, as he brought his fingers to his mouth and proceeded to suck the liquid from his digits. Beca felt her face flame as visions of him doing that very action earlier filled her mind.

 ** _Fuck me_** , she swore. **_Fuck this day, fuck my life, and fuck Jesse Swanson!...Well, already did that…_** Show up to practice, she could do that. Dress hot, sure, she could do that too. Pretend that standing within an eight foot radius of Jesse didn't give her heart palpitations, okay, that was manageable. This was supposed to be about showing Jesse that what he had said didn't bother her. Not some 'Lets-Do-Things-to-Get-Each-Other-All-Hot-and-Bothered' game. That hadn't been the plan.

Admittedly, Beca's plan hadn't gone any further than show up and look hot. And with each passing minute in the heat, Beca felt more and more miserable in her makeup and outfit choice-except for the shorts, those were actually ok and she needed to remember to wear them more often in the summer. She felt like she was failing miserably in her plan. Until salvation came to her in the form of a dusty Ford F250.

"Shit," she cursed. "What the fuck is Luke doing here?"

"This is perfect," Benji said quietly behind her. Beca turned around to stare at him in disbelief.

"No it is not," she argued. "All Luke ever does when he is around me is try to fuck me. Or try to goad me in to drinking enough so that I actually think it's a good idea to fuck him."

"Exactly."

"Benjamin Applebaum," Beca said slowly, narrowing her eyes at Benji. "Why is it, when it comes to my sex life, you become absolutely devious?" He smiled at her, and winked.

"This will work. Trust me. Just let Luke do his thing, and you just smile and let Luke and Jesse think you're interested."

"You're buying me the **largest** bottle of Jameson that you can afford tonight," she grumbled.

* * *

Beca Mitchell was a goddamn tease, Jesse decided. And the worst part was that he was sure she had no idea what she was doing. She had stormed into the storage unit, stalking across the concrete floor, long legs swinging with angry purpose, in a pair of sinfully short jean shorts.

"Good evening, BecaLee," Jake had drawled after letting out a low whistle. She had graced him with a small smile. Bumper had certainly been less than thrilled.

"Don't fuckin' whistle at my sister, Dude," he had groaned before rounding on Beca. "Excuse me, did I miss the fashion show? What the fuck are you wearing?"

"What does it look like I'm wearing?"

"Fake tits, a painted on shirt and fucking jean **panties**."

"I'm actually not wearing panties," she replied coolly and Jesse could feel a jolt straight to his groin. He tried desperately not to stare- ** _Good God, don't let Bumper catch me staring at her ass-_** wondering if she really wasn't wearing any underwear.

"Go home and change, you can't walk around looking like that," Bumper had ordered. Beca squared her shoulders in challenge. Jesse could only watch in fascination. He hadn't seen the two of them quarrel like this since, well, since high school. He wondered how long it would take before Beca kicked him in the shins-that was how those fights usually ended.

"Looking like **what**?"

"Like you've been ridden hard and hung up wet." Beca's eyes widened with her rage.

"You are not my mother, my father, or my Gran, Jared Allen Mitchell. You are only my brother and you are not the fucking boss of me." There was no telling how long they would have continued if Jake hadn't decided to break up the fight by playing his drums.

The next twenty minutes were torturous. Jesse kept trying, and failing, to avoid staring at Beca. But she made it so damn hard, every time she would lean back, her back arching and her breasts straining against the fabric of her shirt, and tossing her hair back over her shoulders as she played her guitar. At one point she bent over to adjust one of the pedals on her pedal board. Not only did Jesse forget the line he was supposed to be singing, but Jake dropped one of his drumsticks. And, God, it was so fucking hot...

The storage unit was climate controlled to a point but not enough to compete with being up and moving and jumping while singing along to the boisterous music. Even with three box fans set up around the unit, Jesse still felt the sweat rolling down his face. He wished he had worn shorts instead of his ratty old jeans.

He walked over to stand in front of one of the box fans, trying to cool off as he pretended to look over lyrics while Beca and Bumper sniped at each other some more. He kept looking over at her surreptitiously. Her skin was practically glistening and Jesse found himself momentarily thankful for the blistering Oklahoma heat for once in his life. And when she pressed her wet can of beer to her chest with that fucking sigh? Jesus, she had to be doing that on purpose...right? Okay, he could play that game too.

He made sure to catch her attention as he walked over to the cooler, trying not to smile as he felt her blue eyes on him. He reached into the cooler, grasping at a can and shaking it just enough to agitate the carbonated liquid slightly. As he looked up at her, watching her lips part, he popped the tab and felt the contents splash onto his fingers. He held her gaze, smirking as he brought his fingers to his mouth. He watched her eyes widen as he sucked the fluid off of his fingers. When she whirled around, her face aflame, Jesse crowed silently. It was nice to know that he could tease Beca just as mercilessly as she had been doing to him.

 ** _Haha, yeah,_** he chuckled to himself. Suddenly the sound of an engine roaring brought everyone's attention around. Jesse watched as Beca and Bumper both rolled their eyes in annoyance.

"What's going on?" he asked, walking over to the open side door. Jake walked up beside him, both of them looking down the gravel lane to see a dusty red pickup truck headed for them, kicking up a cloud of dust and gravel behind it.

"Shit," Jake cursed. "Luke is here."


	13. Chapter 13

"Well, if it isn't our **ex** lead singer," Bumper drawled loudly as Luke walked in with his friend Markus. **_Great_** , she sighed. **_Jared is in one of his moods now._** Of course he was. It was hot and he and Beca had been shitty to each other since band practice had started. "Did you come here to beg us to take you back?" Luke threw his head back in a loud laugh.

"No, man. I just had some time to kill before work so I thought I would drop by and see how you guys were faring. I heard you guys have a pretty big gig coming up."

"As you can see, we are getting along just fine," Bumper said evenly. Luke nodded, walking over to the cooler. He bent, reaching in and grabbing two beers. He tossed one to Markus before opening his own and taking a sip. He turned his attention to Jesse.

"So, you're the new lead singer, Movie Star?"

"Uh-" Luke turned from Jesse, not bothering to let Jesse finish his response, to stare straight at Beca. She stared back warily. Luke had never been the 'Just-Stopped-by-to-Chat' kind of guy for as long as she had known him. In fact, the biggest problem with Luke was that you never really knew what was going to happen when he was around. Sometimes he would behave himself, act respectably towards people, and even do nice things, like the time he had driven across town in the middle of the night to help Beca and Chloe change the tire on Chloe's car. And sometimes he would walk into the church on a Sunday morning, drunk as a skunk, and would proceed to heckle the preacher, who was his third cousin. Or the time he had taken Beca out on a nice date to a very expensive restaurant, right on the Riverwalk in Oklahoma city, and had even taken her dancing, before bringing her back to his apartment where his ex-girlfriend was waiting to pounce on him for sleeping with her the night before and he hadn't called her back. And then there were times like four months ago when he suddenly couldn't be reached by his phone and it took asking his mother to find out that he was gone to Austin, Texas to stay with his aunt and uncle for an undetermined amount of time. The latter being the reason that he was no longer a member of the band.

"I figured **you** would have stepped up, Becky," he continued her, fixing her in his stare. Beca shifted her weight uncomfortably.

"Don't call me that," she shot back automatically. "And why would you think that?" Luke shrugged, smiling at her.

"Because everyone in this town knows that you're the **real** talent in the band," he said casually. Beca rolled her eyes, walking back a few steps to pick her beer up.

"That's horse shit. I'm not any better than anyone else. Accept maybe you."

"Easy there, Spitfire, it was a compliment. But why **aren't** you singing lead?"

"Because Jesse is the lead singer," she answered, her tone suggesting that that was all she intended to say on the subject. This conversation was quickly turning into something more than slightly awkward. Beca was certain that Luke was up to something. Judging by the way he and Markus kept glancing at each other, Beca worried that the two of them were there mainly to start shit. Markus had always been a creep, the kid who shot at cats with his pellet gun for fun and who got into fights for fun. There was just something about him, besides the greasy black hair and his yellow brown eyes, that made Beca feel like he was never to be trusted. She glanced over at Benji, who suddenly didn't seem as excited for Luke to be there. From the corner of her vision she watched at Luke walked up to Jesse.

Luke was a good three inches taller than Jesse, with broader shoulders. In fact, Luke was taller than most people in town, besides Jake, and he liked to use his stature as a tool for intimidation. Beca noted that, even though Jesse had to look up to meet Luke's eyes, he held himself as though he was looking down upon him. And it made her respect him for it. But only a little bit.

"Hey, I don't know if you remember me," Luke said slowly, taking another sip of beer. "I used to give you a lot of shit in school."

"Uh, yeah...I recall," Jesse's voice remained neutral. Beca tried to busy herself with her guitar, running her fingers nervously up and down the fret board and tapping the pick-ups just enough to be heard through her amp, as she eavesdropped.

"Hey, no hard feelings, right?" Luke chuckled. Jesse stared at him for a second before smiling humorlessly. He held up his hands.

"Naw, man. I **obviously** turned out okay." Beca heard Jake snort across the room. She shook her head.

"Hey, wasn't he the kid whose clothes we stole at a party one night?" Markus asked suddenly. Beca glanced up at Jesse, watching his reaction. He had a tight lipped smile on his face.

"Hey, yeah! You spent the rest of the party wearing only a sock," Luke chimed in. "Didn't I fight you at a party once in high school?"

"Uh, yeah. Once, when I was sixteen." Their exchange now had Beca's full attention. **_Wait a minute..._**

"Yeah, I remember that night," Markus laughed, sitting down on Bumper's amp. Beca recalled the night as well. Jesse and Bumper had never been in an actual fist fight before then, and it hadn't gone very well for either of them. "You got mad because Luke said something about some girl you liked and you sucker punched him. We almost had your ass laid out until Bumper jumped in to help you." The sound of Beca's beer can hitting the concrete floor got every one's attention. **_Jesse started that fight? I thought Jared..._**

"Shit," she hissed. "Someone grab me a rag or something." She bent down to pick up her can, which was now empty. **_For Christ sake, Beca, could you be any more of a spaz?_** she berated herself. Still, Jesse had led her to believe that her brother was the one who started the fight and he had only jumped in to help him. **_Why would Jesse get in a fight over what someone was saying about me?_**

"There's some in my car," Benji offered, taking his guitar off and laying it to the side. "I'll be right back." He dashed out of the unit. Beca stood up and tossed the can into the trash. She then used the toe of her shoe to move her chord out of the puddle of beer. Beca looked up when she heard footsteps approaching, seeing Luke closing the distance between them.

"So, Ava told me she saw you walking down the road today after the rain, soaked to the bone. Wanna tell me why?" His voice was low enough to not call attention and Beca noticed that Bumper, Jake and Markus were all conversing amicably-for now. She turned her attention back to Luke.

"Not that it's any of your business, Luke, but I had car troubles today."

"On that side of town?"

"I have a house that I clean on that side of town."

"Which house?"

"Jesse's."

"And he didn't offer to give you a ride home?" **_Oh, he gave me a ride..._** Beca thought ruefully.

"I managed just fine, thanks. So, you've been hanging around Ava, huh? Is she slumming now?"

"Thanks, Becky." Beca sighed in exasperation, rolling her eyes.

"Why do you insist on calling me Becky?" Luke smiled widely at her, his dimples showing in his tanned cheeks.

"Because it ruffles your feathers," he chuckled. "And you're gorgeous when you're annoyed."

"I must be the best looking girl in town, lately," she grumbled.

"You do seem on edge lately. Is it Swanson?"

"Do you **really** care or are you trying to fast track into my panties?"

"Maybe a little of both," Luke smiled, winking. Beca found herself smiling back at him. Luke could be so charming when he wanted to be. And the best part was, out of the corner of her eye, she could see Jesse watching her. And he didn't look pleased. Not one bit. **_I guess this means I've got the upper hand_** , she thought smugly.

"Here," Benji called, walking through the door. He held several rags in his hands. Beca held her hand out and he tossed one to her.

"Thanks, Benji," she told him as she bent down again and began to sop up the beer.

"Love the shirt, Becky," she heard Luke say over her.

"You would," she chuckled.

"What happens when your ties get pulled?" Beca knew, she fucking knew Luke came to cause trouble. And in that moment, she knew exactly what he was going to do. She just didn't have enough time to stop him. She felt first one tie pull and loosen and then another in quick succession.

"Stop!" She gasped, dropping the rag to grab at her shirt as she felt the third and fourth tie go.

"Hey, fucker!" Beca looked up to see her brother launch himself at Luke. Everything moved in slow motion then. She felt some one's hands on her arms, raising her to her feet and pushing her away from Luke as she watched Markus stepp between Bumper and Luke. Bumper drew his fist back and let it fly, catching Markus across his face. Luke stepped around Markus and threw a vicious hook to her brother's jaw just as Jake moved to block a retaliation from Markus. Suddenly, she was staring at the back of Jesse's wife beater as he moved around her to join the fray.

Moving on instinct, Beca whirled around, grabbing the closest mic stand down by the base and hefting it like a baseball bat. She turned back to the fight, just in time to see Jesse land three heavy blows to Luke's stomach. Luke was doubled over, down for the moment, but Markus was squaring off with her brother and seemed to have to upper hand. Jake was moving to step in between them.

"Get out of my way," Beca yelled at him. When he glanced at her he sidestepped quickly out of her way. "You keep your hands off of my brother!" She roared, swinging the mic stand. She caught Markus across his back and he howled in agony. She swung again, the metal bar striking his shoulder. Markus scrambled away, his eyes wide.

"You crazy bitch!" He yelled.

"Oh, you haven't **seen** crazy yet, mother fucker." She turned to Luke, who was bleeding from his mouth and nose, thanks to Jesse. "You come in here and fuck with me, with my band and then you hit my brother? I will fucking kill you both. Get the fuck out. Now." Luke and Markus scrambled out the door. Seconds later the sound of the doors to Luke's truck opening and slamming shut could be heard. The engine roared to life.

 ** _Well_** , Beca thought, breathing hard and still brandishing the mic stand like a baseball bat as she listened to Luke's truck haul ass down the gravel lane. **_That definitely did not go the way it was supposed to._**

"Rebeca, you can put the mic stand down now," Bumper said behind her. Beca turned back to face her brother. He looked ashen, watching as she finally lowered her impromptu weapon. She looked down at herself and saw that her shirt was just barely clinging to her shoulders. She grabbed the loose sides, holding them against herself.

"Jared, I'm-"

"It's fine," he cut her off. "Let's just call it a night, okay?"

"That sounds like a good idea," Jake agreed.

* * *

"Ugh, Chloe, it was awful," Beca grumbled into her phone as she lay sprawled out on her couch.

"Jesus. I'm sorry I missed it. I would have loved to have seen you swinging that mic stand at Markus Kale. That fucker has been begging for an ass-kicking since we were kids." Beca laughed slightly. It was so good to finally hear her voice. She had called her as soon as she had finished changing into her favorite old T shirt, a threadbare and nearly see-through shirt with a cartoon wallaby on it and the word's Rocko's Modern Life written across the top, and a pair of old soccer shorts.

"So, Benji mentioned that you met a guy on your first day there?" Beca asked, changing the subject. She didn't want to think about Markus, or Luke, or Jesse, or awkward car rides with her brother not speaking and her inability to stop apologizing. She was content to listen to her best friend gush about how tall all the buildings were and how big her cousin Stacie's apartment was and how cute Stacie's kids were and

"Oh my God, Dean Teller, I met Dean Fucking Teller, from the show Mysterious, I spilled his coffee all over him and then he walked me to Stacie's apartment building, and guess what, he lives in the apartment just below, and he is so hot in real life, oh my God, Beca, and I'm pretty sure he kinda hit on me, it was AMAZING!" Beca giggled.

"Did you even take a breath during that?" she teased. Chloe laughed through the phone and Beca's heart hurt at the sound of it. She wondered if she would get to hear it in person again. "So, I take it you like it there so far?"

"I love it. There is so much to see. But I miss you and Benji and Jake, something fierce," Chloe sighed. "And I miss seeing the stars at night. You can't see any in Brooklyn, Beca. Not a one."

"I guess that means you will just have to come back and visit, just to see them," Beca laughed.

"So, how are things going with Jesse?"

"Ugh," Beca groaned.

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"It just means…Ugh," Beca told her. She sighed heavily, stretching out on the couch. She lifted her leg to scratch at the back of her knee.

"Beca, don't think that just because I'm in a different time zone that I can't find out what is going on between you two," Chloe warned her.

"Don't think I don't know that Benji has already told you everything he knows."

"Well…"

"Uh huh, that's what I thought. Look…there is nothing to talk about. He said it didn't mean anything. So…that's that. I'm done fawning over Jesse. I refuse to be the girl who wallows in self-pity and pines away after a man that doesn't love her."

"Oh, Beca-" A knock sounded at Beca's door. She sat up, looking at her door in confusion.

"Hey, Red, someone's at the door. Lemme call you back tomorrow, okay?"

"Sure, Becs. Love you!"

"Love you too, Chloe. Bye."

"Bye!" Beca pushed the button to end the phone call just as another knock sounded. "I heard you, hold on!" Beca called out, heaving herself up and off the couch. She dropped her phone onto the coffee table and walked over to the door, opening it.

* * *

Jesse took a deep breath, shoving his hands into his pockets as he waited for Beca to open her door. He didn't really have a plan. He just knew that he couldn't take sitting in his empty house all night, thinking about Beca and what happened between them earlier. His original idea was to offer her a ride home from band practice. But after the fight, Bumper had insisted that he give her a ride home, thus nixing that idea. He briefly entertained the idea of calling her to talk to her but decided against it because this was definitely something that needed to be said in person. **_You can't just tell someone you're in love with them over the phone_** , he told himself.

At the sound of the lock turning, Jesse felt his heart begin to pound. He watched the knob turn and the door swing open. Beca's face, when she saw that it was Jesse standing outside of her apartment, was anything but pleased. "Hey," Jesse said quietly. "You got a couple minutes?" Beca stared at him for a second before stepping out of her apartment and closing the door. **_Awesome_** , Jesse sighed. **_Guess I'm not welcome inside._**

"What do you want?" she asked icily. Jesse lifted an eyebrow at her tone.

"I just wanted to talk," he told her. **_Just tell her. Just say it._**

"I'm not really in the mood to talk Jesse. Especially not to you."

"Oh, because **I'm** the asshole in this situation?" **_What are you doing, you idiot?_** Jesse wasn't sure why he was arguing with her. **_This isn't why you came here!_**

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Do you usually sleep with one guy and then go flirting with other guys three hours later?"

"You got something you wanna say to me, Jesse?" **_Yes, I do!_** He yelled in his mind.

"I was just wondering why you and Luke seemed so cozy together at practice." **_This is not what you came over here to talk about!_** he shouted at himself. ** _Change the subject! Get back on track!_**

"That's just how he acts when he thinks he has a chance to get with someone," she replied, crossing her arms over her chest. Jesse's eyes followed the movements of her arms. **_She's…not wearing a bra…_** he realized. He wrenched his eyes back up to Beca's glare, recalling her last words.

"Why would he think that?" **_You're an idiot, Swanson. Just forget about Luke and tell her that you love her. Just-_**

"Luke just thinks that because it's happened before, he can get me any time he wants," Beca growled defensively. Jesse could feel his rationality draining away at the thought of Beca with Luke.

"Jesus, really, Beca? Luke? The guy's a jackass. Not to mention fucking crazy."

"I never said I was proud of the fact that I slept with him," Beca grumbled, uncrossing her arms.

"Do you make a habit of jumping into bed with guys without thinking things through?"

"No, sometimes I fuck them in their front hall," Beca snapped. Jesse glared at her.

"Clearly, you're not one of those girls who needs a committed relationship before she lets a guy between her legs," Jesse replied coldly.

"Clearly, I have poor taste in men, as well. I obviously only fuck losers, douche bags, and assholes. Guess which category you fit under?"

"Those are the only people who you could possibly attract, with your attitude. I'm surprised you can lure any one into bed at all."

"Funny, I got you easily enough! Hope you enjoyed it this afternoon, 'cause that's the last time you will ever have it from-" Jesse's mouth crashed down upon Beca's. He didn't recall making the decision to do so. But her mouth opened to him immediately, her tongue dueling with his, and she moaned against his lips. He kissed her hungrily, grasping the back of her head and pushing her up against her door.

"Open the fucking door," he growled between kisses. She fumbled with the door knob as Jesse began to kiss and nip at her throat. Her skin is tangy from sweat and smooth against his lips. When he scraped his teeth over her skin she let out a helpless sound. Finally, she was able to twist the knob and the door swung open and Jesse had to pull her against his body to keep her from stumbling backwards into her apartment. He walked her backwards over the threshold of the doorway, kicking the door closed behind him, before turning her around and steering her to the bedroom.

As soon as he pushed Beca into the room, Jesse's hands rip her shirt up over her head, pausing to nip at her shoulders and her back. He turned her back around then, to grasp her breasts firmly, squeezing roughly, before taking a peak into his mouth. Beca groaned and began wriggling out of her shorts. As her shorts hit the floor, Jesse released her so that he could kick off his shoes and unzip his pants. Beca busied herself by pulling his wife beater up, taking care to lick and bite at the skin of Jesse's chest as it was revealed to her. When she finally pulled his tank top off, his hands are back in her hair, pulling at roughly at her curls to tip her head back before his mouth is on hers again. At her moan, Jesse turned her around once again and pushed her down onto the bed, guiding her onto her hands and knees. Jesse took a moment to stare at Beca, pulling his dick out of his pants and tugging a couple times before lining up at her entrance and thrusting into her. Beca gasped in discomfort and Jesse stilled his movements.

"Are you okay?"

"Just fucking move already." He obeyed her command, withdrawing and thrusting into her slowly. Beca tossed her hair over her shoulders and looked back at him in annoyance.

"What?" he asked.

"I'm sorry, I was under the impression that we were having angry sex right now. I'm not a fucking china doll, Jesse." Jesse shook his head, growling in frustration.

"You are the most infuriating person I know."

"Then fuck me like you hate me," she told him, grinding back against him. Jesse groaned. He pulled out almost all the way before slamming into her. Beca cried out, her hands fisting in the covers of her bed. He set a hard pace that left Beca gasping in pleasure. "Fuck," she cried out over and over. She let her head drop down. Suddenly, she was pulling away from Jesse, turning and pulling him down for a bruising kiss. "Take your pants off," she gasped and Jesse raced to comply, wriggling out of his jeans while still kissing Beca. When he was finally naked, Beca pulled him down onto the bed, rolling him onto his back and climbed on top of him. He held himself in position as she settled on top of him slowly, moaning as he filled her.

"Oh my God, Beca," Jesse said between clenched teeth when he is fully sheathed inside of her. Beca began to rock her hips, bracing her hands on Jesse's chest for support. He gripped her thighs tightly and stared up at her, watching her as she moved on top of him. Jesse took one hand off of her thighs to reach up and pinch her nipples. Beca gasped and kept rocking against him, her movements becoming less rhythmic as she neared her peak. When she paused her movements, gasping and shuddering, Jesse sat up, biting down on her shoulder as he used his hands on her hips to lift her up before guiding her back down. When she had come down from her orgasm, Beca began to move herself, sighing each time she dropped back down against him.

After a few more moments, he tipped her backwards, still seated deep inside her, until she was on her back. He then grabbed her hips, kneeling between her legs, and lifted her pelvis up to the angle that suited him best. He thrust into her wildly and Beca came again with a yell, her hands grasping at the sheets, his arms, anything her fingers could find purchase on. Jesse drove into her mercilessly seeking his own release. Finally he came forcefully, with a low groan. He pulled out of her, collapsing back onto the pillows, gasping to catch his breath. When his heart rate finally decreased he glanced down at the end of the bed to see Beca lying on her side, still recovering. Without a word, he sat up and pulled her up to lay beside him, maneuvering the comforter out from beneath them and pulling it over their bodies.

Neither of them said a word as they lay, side by side, in bed. The air was heavy with their thoughts, Jesse felt if just one of them would make a noise the tension would burst and all of their thoughts would come tumbling down, into the open. But Jesse kept his mouth closed as he tried to slow his breathing. He turned his head to look over at Beca and found her eyes clamped shut. He reached out to move her hair out of her face and his fingers felt the wetness on her cheeks. She opened her eyes then, looking straight at Jesse. Jesse exhaled slowly, pulling her closer and wrapping her in his arms. Still, neither spoke a single word. And Jesse fell asleep wondering why he couldn't tell her how he felt and why Beca was crying.


	14. Chapter 14

Never in his young life had Jesse Swanson entertained the idea of being an actor when he grew up, much less being famous for acting. Sure he did theatre in school because it was fun and he was told that he was pretty good at it. But if you had asked him what he wanted to be when he grew up he would have answered, without hesitation, "An archeologist!", and had wanted to be one ever since he had seen Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. Even after finding out that being an archeologist involved far less saving the day and getting the girl, and involved a lot more reading and digging with tiny hammers and picks, his love for history and obscure cultures of the past remained strong.

His plan had been to attend the University of Oklahoma to study Anthropology. But when his father passed, after having a massive heart attack, Jesse's mother had decided that she wanted to return to California, where she had a sister and two cousins. And she wouldn't allow Jesse, her only son, to stay behind, assuring him that he could study Anthropology in California. At first he was unwilling to go with her, but after weeks of guilt trips, he finally caved.

When Jesse arrived in LA with his mother, he hated it immediately. It was crowded, and big, traffic sucked. Being near the ocean was cool, but the beaches were crowded and it took forever to get to it. And when he started college at UCLA, he was known as 'Jesse-the guy from Oklahoma'. He had never felt more like an outsider in his whole life. Jesse had gone from knowing absolutely everyone in town, to knowing absolutely no one. He had never before had to make friends, never needed to because he had had the same friends since his days in daycare.

He couldn't have been more excited when he was finally able to visit his friends back in his home town a year and a half later. He couldn't wait to be around people who made him feel like he belonged. And he couldn't wait to tell them that he was in the process of applying to go to college in Oklahoma City, so he could be closer to his friends, so he could go back to just being Jesse.

But Bumper barely had anytime to hang out with Jesse, since he was attending Vo-tech and working evenings at the quick stop just outside of town. And Beca, whom he had been thinking about every single second he had been away, wouldn't even look at him. And Ava, his high school girlfriend, was engaged and only interested in showing off her fiancé to Jesse. In fact, everyone seemed only interested in showing Jesse how they had moved on from having been a part of his life.

So Jesse had decided to move on with his life and try to find out who he was, since he wasn't "Jesse-who's friends with Bumper" or "Jesse-who's from Clear Valley" any more. He went back to California, deciding to stay at UCLA, and became "Jesse-who lives in LA" and then "Jesse-who did community theatre", followed by "Jesse-who was cast in an independent film", and finally "Jesse-who was a movie star". And yet, he still wasn't sure which actually felt like the real Jesse.

* * *

Jesse awoke hours, or maybe just minutes later, staring up at the ceiling. It was still dark outside, no light other than pale moonlight, coming through the window. He looked over to his right to see that Beca was still fast asleep, curled up on her side, facing Jesse. Seeing her there, sleeping inches away from him, filled him with a sense of bliss that he hadn't felt in God knew how long. He reached out to stroke her cheek. He thought back to the tears she had shed earlier while they lay, recovering from their angry interlude earlier. He sighed heavily. They needed to talk. He needed to tell her the reason he had shown up at her apartment that night.

"Beca," he spoke softly. She sighed slowly in her sleep and moved her cheek against his hand. He smiled slightly."Beca, wake up." No response. "Beca." He shook his head. He let his fingers ghost along her jaw before tracing down her neck, pushing her hair back over her shoulder. He could see a purple mark where he had bitten down on her. In fact, there were several marks on her shoulder, and even a few on her chest. Jesse pulled the comforter down, revealing the rest of her. Beca didn't even stir.

He leaned forward and began to press soft kisses to each mark that he could see. Beca sighed, still sleeping soundly, and rolled onto her back. Jesse smiled at the access that this new position granted to him. He sat up, shifting so that he was leaning over Beca, kissing her neck and chest, listening to her hum slightly. He moved lower, looking up at her face as he flicked his tongue across one of her nipples. She drew in a quick breath, but still refused to wake. Jesse drew the peak into his mouth, sucking and rolling his tongue over the budded nipple, still marveling at the way the warm barbell felt against his tongue. Still, Beca slept on. He released her breast, kissing down the swell of it and continuing down over her ribs. She shifted slightly but still gave no indication of waking up. Jesse smiled, shaking his head. **_Stubborn, even in her sleep_** , he thought. He sat back, moving down her body.

Jesse hooked a hand beneath each knee, lifting them so that her legs bent, and pushing them far enough apart so that he can gain access to her center. He spared one final glance at Beca's sleeping face before he bent down, nosing past the neatly trimmed curls, and ran his tongue along the length of her damp folds.

* * *

Beca opened her eyes, gasping and staring at the ceiling. She propped herself up on her elbows and looked down her body to see Jesse staring up at her from between her thighs. She watched his mouth open and his tongue darted out to lick her once more, the tip catching on her clit. She gasped loudly.

"What are you doing?" she panted. Jesse said nothing, choosing instead to lick her again and Beca's head dropped back. At the feeling of his tongue at her center, Beca sighed, reaching her hands down to lace her fingers through his hair. She gasped loudly when his tongue dipped inside of her momentarily. He did it again and was rewarded with a loud moan. Jesse pulled back, replacing his tongue with two of his fingers, thrusting and curling the digits inside her. He watched her face contort with pleasure. He leaned down again and sucked her clit into his mouth, tonguing it savagely while continuing to work his fingers in and out of her.

Beca moaned with every breath she drew, screwing her eyes shut as she concentrated on the pleasure coursing through her. She could feel her thighs beginning to tremble as she drew ever closer to her release. God, why hadn't Jesse done this to her sooner? This was amazing, his tongue and what it was doing was amazing. And the orgasm that had her toes curling and her body curving up off the mattress was...amazing. She barely even noticed, as her body shivered and buzzed, that Jesse was now crawling up over her, spreading her legs to accommodate the width of his hips, before sinking into her.

Beca's eyes opened when Jesse filled her, staring up into his half-lidded irises. She couldn't help but think about the last time he had been over her, inside of her, staring down at her. And then she was remembering his words, telling her that being with her didn't mean anything. And she could stop herself from asking why. Why did this keep happening? And why did she keep letting it? And why did this not mean anything to him? And why, for the love of **God** was she crying? Again! Beca brought her hand up to wipe the tears that ran from the corners of her eyes. Jesse sat back then, pulling her up to sit in his lap, his lips on her cheeks and his hands holding her face. Every kiss was an apology as his thumbs wiped each tear that fell from her lashes until she could reign in her emotions. She pressed her lips to his, kissing him softly and rolling her hips.

"Beca," he whispered, resting his forehead against hers. This was not the fervent kind of interlude, like they had shared before. They moved slowly together, kissing and sighing and watching each other, hands whispering across each other's heated skin to caress rather than excite. Every breath, every pant was a prayer, falling from their open mouths with each roll and thrust of their hips. Beca was the first to close her eyes as she began to come undone. Jesse watched her shiver, goose bumps spreading across her body, and caught her lips in a searing kiss, his hands on her hips to help her keep moving as he finally reached his own climax. Jesse's head dropped down, his forehead resting on her shoulder and his warm breath puffing against her skin. Beca panted, leaning heavily against him. He sat back, staring at her through the darkness.

"Beca, I…" Jesse paused and she held her breath, waiting to see what his next words would be. She watched him swallow. "I'm an idiot." He paused again, sighing loudly. "I'm the biggest idiot in the world." She stared at him, studying his face, trying to figure out what Jesse words could mean.

"What do you mean? That this keeps happening because you're an idiot, or-"

"No! Well, yes, but no," Jesse said, cutting her off. She raised her eyebrows, still not understanding.

"What?"

"I'm an idiot because I keep saying things that I don't mean, and I keep pissing you off and I don't really know why **this** keeps happening"- Jesse gestured to the space between them-"Or why you keep letting it happen after the things I said, but all I know is that I…like that this keeps happening. I want it to keep happening." Beca blinked, taking a second to absorb his rushed confession.

"So, you came over here because you want to keep having sex with me?" Jesse rolled his eyes.

"I came over here to apologize for what I said today."

"By getting angry and implying that I'm a slut because I've hooked up with Luke?"

"Did you listen to the part where I told you I'm an idiot?" Jesse groaned, dropping his forhead to rest on her shoulder once more. "I just…it makes me crazy, thinking that you would let that ass hat use you for sex."

"Who said it wasn't me using him?" Beca countered.

"Can we please stop talking about you and Luke having sex while I'm still inside you?" Jesse growled, lifting his head up to glare at her. Beca narrowed her eyes.

"You're welcome to get out of me anytime now," she shot back. Jesse sighed.

"Beca, accept the damn apology. I'm trying, here, but you gotta meet me halfway."

"Fine. Apology accepted," she grumbled. Jesse leaned forward to capture her frowning lips in a kiss and Beca found herself relenting.

"I really am sorry," Jesse insisted against her mouth. Beca hummed, her eyes drifting shut. Her limbs felt heavy. The whole day, and night, had left her feeling emotionally and physically drained. She just wanted to go back to sleep. But she could feel Jesse hardening inside her, and his hands were on her breasts, massaging. He left her mouth to kiss down her throat.

"Again?" she asked breathlessly.

"Yes," he replied. Beca shook her head in exasperation, but rolled her hips, listening to him groan against her skin. "Fuck. You just might be the death of me, Beca."

"Oh, but what a way to go."


	15. Chapter 15

There was no sane explanation for Beca waking up at 8:30 the next morning. But her eyes were open and she was sitting up, her comforter falling down to her lap. Her body ached in protest. She looked down at Jesse, who lay face down next to her. Completely unconscious. **_What a dork_** , she sighed.

Beca's limbs are sore and her body is stiff as she stretched her arms up, arching her back, and her spine cracks more than just a couple times. **_Fuck, my body hasn't felt like this since I stopped playing soccer._** She lifted the comforter off of her lap and swung her legs off of the bed. **_I need a shower_** , she told herself as she stood. **_I reek of sex_**. She spared one more glance at Jesse's sleeping form before walking silently out of her bedroom, bee lining for her bathroom.

After relieving her bladder, Beca reached into her shower to turn on the faucet, watching the water as it sprayed from the shower head. Beca stuck her hand under the spray, testing the temperature. As soon as it was warm enough she stepped over the rim of the tub and ducked her head under the spray, drenching her hair. Showers were magical, she decided. She sighed loudly as she let the warmth of the water ease her aches and stiffness. She grabbed her shampoo, squeezing some into her cupped palm she quickly washed her hair, rinsing it thoroughly before putting conditioner in and then rinsing that as well.

"You're insane, Beca, how are you up this early and already in the shower?" Beca yelped in shock when Jesse's voice sounded through her Paisley shower curtain.

"What the fuck! Don't just sneak up on someone like that, dude!" she grouched, clutching her chest and willing her heart to stop pounding in her chest. Jesse chuckled at her.

"You probably could have heard me if you weren't groaning so loudly."

"I was **not** groaning."

"What do you think woke me up?" Beca muttered darkly to herself. She glared at Jesse when he pulled the shower curtain aside and stepped into the tub with her. "Move over, you're hogging all the water." Her eye brows shot up.

"I was here first."

"Oh my God. What are you, twelve?" Jesse sighed, shaking his head. He placed a hand on each side of her waist, pulling her out from under the shower head, before taking her spot. Beca was about to gripe at him when Jesse ducked his head under the water and her eyes were drawn to the sight of his body as droplets rolled over the muscles of his chest and his abdomen and his-"See something you like?" Beca wrenched her gaze back up to his face, her cheeks blazing. "Did you not get enough last night?"

"I seriously want to punch you," she grumbled, turning around and reaching for the bottle of body wash that sat on the rim of the tub. She ignored his laugh as she straightened up, plucking her shower pouf from the hook on the tile, and squirted a dollop of soap onto the purple mesh. She began to run the soapy mesh over her arms and chest.

"So, why Cherry Blossoms?" Jesse asked. Beca shivered when she felt his fingers trace along the tattooed branch of pink flowers along her shoulder.

"Because they're pretty," Beca answered, fighting the urge to shiver. Jesse snorted.

"Seriously?" She looked back at him over her shoulder.

"Not every tattoo has to have a specific meaning, Jesse," she sniffed. "I got this one the same day that Chloe got her Lotus tattoo on her back and Benji got the Koi on his left calf."

"And these?" he asked, touching the half sleeve of tattoos on her left arms. Beca looked down at those with a smile.

"My Mandalas? I have those to remind me that life is beautiful. Even when it's complicated."

"And the nipple piercings?" Beca tipped her head back and laughed.

"Are you still not over those? I'm beginning to think you're obsessed." She bent, washing her legs.

"I can't help it," he said, defending himself. "They're hot. And I just never would have thought that the Beca I knew would have pierced nipples. What's next, piercing your clit?"

"Ew, no," Beca shuddered, turning around. She watched as Jesse squirted some of her shampoo into his hands before scrubbing his hands through his hair. "My vagina is not a Christmas tree; it does not need any ornaments. It's pretty enough as it is."

"Having been up close and personal with it recently, I would have to agree," Jesse chuckled, ducking his head under the shower to rinse the soap out of his hair. "This shampoo smells awesome." Beca laughed at him.

"It's just Herbal Essence. What do you usually use?"

"I dunno. I usually get stuff like that for free from companies wanting my endorsements."

"Are you serious? You don't even buy your own toiletries?" Beca shook her head in disbelief. **_The money I could save just from not having to buy shampoo_** , she scoffed.

"Are you just gonna stand there, covered in soap?"

"You're hogging all the water," she complained, waiting to rinse the soap off of her body.

"There's room for two," he told her. Beca shook her head.

"You'll just mess with me."

"You'll enjoy it," he said, pulling her to him so that she stood with him under the spray of water. Jesse pulled the shower pouf from her hands, tossing it to the tub behind her. He then began to rub her hands over her, helping to rinse the soap from her skin before bringing his hands up to her head, running his fingers through her hair. Beca sighed at the feeling of his fingers massaging her scalp. Amazing sex all night and now having someone play with her hair? **_I could get used to this_** , she thought to herself, her eyes closing. She felt Jesse press a kiss to her forehead and she leaned into him more. She rolled up on to her toes, pressing her lips to his. Jesse kissed her back, opening his mouth and slipping his tongue past her pliant lips. Beca wrapped her arms around his waist, molding herself to his body.

Jesse pushed her back out from under the water and pressed her against the tile wall. She gasped when her back collided with the cold surface. He let go of her hair and she felt a hand at her breast, while the other traced down her stomach, in search of her center. His fingers teased her, strumming over her clit before dipping into her. It was ridiculous how wet she got, almost immediately, for him. She moaned when he curled his fingers inside her, making her see stars momentarily. She let her own hand slide down between them in search of his dick, which was pressing into her hip. As soon as her hand closed around him, Jesse released her mouth to watch her hand as she stroked up and down his length. Beca saw him bite his lip when she rubbed her thumb over his tip and repeated the move, smiling when his breath hitched.

After a minute, he pushed her hand away and, grabbing her shoulders, turned her around and pressed her into the wall. Then his hands moved to her hips, pulling them back slightly. She closed her eyes when she felt the tip of him brushing against her entrance. Jesse stroked himself against her wetness, coating himself in her arousal. Beca whined softly.

"Impatient," Jesse chuckled softly. He pushed into her slowly, groaning softly, and leaning forward to kiss her shoulder.

"Beca, hurry up and get out of the shower. I'm starving!" Bumper called suddenly, walking into the bathroom. Jesse froze, Beca shooting a terrified glance at him over her shoulder. She put her finger up to her lips, telling him to stay silent.

"Jared, what the fuck are you doing here?" Beca asked, her voice nearly an octave higher than normal.

"Waiting on you to get ready," Bumper replied casually. "Hurry it along, though, because Benji is waiting on us to get your car towed to the auto shop and I wanna get something to eat first." Jesse braced his hands on the wall on either side of her head and leaned into her slowly so that his mouth was right next to her left ear.

"Stop. Clenching," he breathed. Beca narrowed her eyes, glaring at the tiles in frustration. **_It's not like I can help it_** , she grumbled inwardly, wishing she could say the words out loud. Jesse pinched her hip when she didn't do as he asked. She glowered at him over her shoulder.

"Oh, hey, so have you heard that Jesse is filming a movie here in town? The mayor has been talking about it to everyone he sees," Bumper continued as Beca retaliated against Jesse the only way she could. She tightened the muscles of her abdomen, squeezing herself as much as she could around Jesse. His breath left him in a whoosh, his forehead crashing into Beca's shoulder. Beca grunted at the force of Jesse's head hitting her. "I know!" Bumper said, mistaking her noise as a response to his conversation. "I think I'll ask if he has a spot in his movie for me, like as an extra. It's the least he could do for his oldest friend."

Beca tried to concentrate on what her brother was saying, she really did. But Jesse decided to exact his revenge by bringing a hand to her breast and teasing her nipple with his fingers. She let out a heavy sigh. "What, you think I can't act? I was in just as many plays and musicals as Jesse, you know."

"I...I know that," Beca gritted out, trying to hold in her moans. The hand on her breast began moving lower, rubbing down the taught flesh of her abdomen. **_He's not!_** Beca thought in panic. But, of course, he was

"Any ways, are you gonna be in the shower all day?" Jesse's fingers found her clit and strummed over it. Beca bit her lip viciously, forcing herself not to make any noise. "Beca?"

"I just...I just got in...Jared."

"Well hurry up!" Several things happened just then. Bumper hit the side of the curtain, startling Jesse who thrust forward into Beca. And Beca yelped, her muscles flexing over Jesse's dick as he buried himself in her.

"Jesus, you're jumpy this morning."

"Jared, get the fuck out of my bathroom!" Beca cried.

"Fine. I'll just wait in the living room." Beca listened to her brother's footsteps as he walked out of the bathroom. As soon as she heard the door shut, she looked back at Jesse.

"Get moving, Swanson," she ordered. "We probably only have ten minutes before he comes back in."

"You will **definitely** be the death of me, Beca," Jesse growled into her ear, making her shiver.

* * *

"Just… wait in here. Don't leave my apartment until it's been at least ten minutes after Jared and I walk out the door," Beca whispered, slipping into her fuzzy purple bathrobe as she watched Jesse dry himself off with a towel.

"I got it, Becs," Jesse was his whispered response, as he continued to dry off. Beca pressed a quick kiss to his cheek and turned to walk out the door. She paused when Jesse, grabbed her elbow and pulled her back to him. "I want a better Good Bye kiss than that," he told her in a low voice, placing a hand on her cheek. He pressed his lips to hers, kissing her deeply. Beca stared at him for a second when he pulled back, before turning and opening the door, walking out of the still steamy bathroom.

"What is taking so damn long, BecaLee?" Bumper asked from where he sat on her couch, watching TV. Beca rolled her eyes.

"I told you that I just got in the damn shower," she shot back over her shoulder, walking into her bedroom. She dressed quickly, not wanting to press her luck with Jesse standing with nothing but a towel in the bathroom. She grabbed a pair of jean capris, wiggling into them as best she could with her still damp skin, and one of her old band t-shirts. **_No tank tops for a few days, thanks to Jesse,_** she huffed in annoyance as she surveyed the purple marks along her collar bone and the bite on her shoulder in her vanity mirror before tugging her red Ludo shirt over her head. **_Note to self: leave scratch marks all down his back for revenge the next time we do it._**

She sighed as she sat down in the chair in front of her vanity to brush through her messy locks before braiding it back out of her face as she applied her make up. "Rebeca Lee, what part of 'Hurry Up' are you not understanding?" Bumper yelled at her again.

"I swear to God, Jared, you yell at me one more time to hurry up and I'm gonna start moving in reverse just to piss you off!" she yelled back, pausing in applying her eye liner. She heard what sounded suspiciously like a muffled snort coming from her bathroom and allowed herself to smile.

Ten minutes later, Beca pulled open the passenger door to Bumper's old white Bronco, stepping up into it and plopping down on the seat. Bumper slammed his own door shut before putting his key into the ignition and turning the engine over. "So," Bumper said clearing his throat as Beca shut her door and buckled her seat belt. She glanced over at her brother when she realized he was taking a long time to continue speaking. She found him staring at his steering wheel.

"So?" she prompted, arching one of her eyebrows at him. He lifted his gaze from the steering wheel to look at Beca and she could see that his lips were pressed together in a grim line. "What?"

"How long did you tell Jesse to wait before leaving your apartment?"


End file.
